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Yazoo City Carnie Laughs Off Notion Of Background Check
by Mark on 12/25/2006 (0)

YAZOO CITY, GA - Traveling Carnie, ring-toss game operator Brenda Lee Hobbs recently "laughed off several outstanding warrants and a Texas City court subpoena" according to a bewitched and defiant Hobbs at the Yazoo City County Fair early Friday.

"Background checks?...Bwahaha! Background checks my ass! No Five-O is ever gonna find me way down here, anyway!" Chortled Hobbs between furious puffs of Chesterfield no-filters "I stabbed my drunk ex-husband with a turkey fork on Thanksgiving, and look at the hot piss in the face I get! And don't mind that DUI I skipped out on in Tuscaloosa, neither. I didn't hurt no jack nobody except a goddamn Schnauzer and the back end of a rich bitch's Lexus SUV anyhow!"

Hobbs joins the distinguished ranks of coworker/bounce-house handle-man Eddy Easel, a Neptune, Michigan resident wanted in 3 states for non child support and gross sexual imposition with a minor, and local transient Donny Rhodabarga, accused of receiving stolen property, carrying a weapon under disability and running a rolling meth lab out of his 1976 Dodge B-100 van in nearby Holly Springs.

Bemused carnival owner Butch Stubbs rubbed his brow, fessing heavily "Yeahh, I don't do no background checks or drug tests over here. It's the Carnie Code, you know. Hell, if I did, they'd have to lock up the elephants, the midgets, and probably even my wife, and I don't even want to ponder what the fat lady and the guess-your-weight man are up to anyhow!"

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