Fun Infused Games  |   Evil Scale  |  |  |   Starcraft Live  |   Fun Pages  |   Your ad here. Twitter RSS 
Home  Archive  Search  Forum  Members  Subscribe  Links  About  Advertise
Sassy Newbie Jogger Reportedly Pretty Goddamm Proud Of Himself
by Mark on 10/4/2006 (0)

I think I can! I think I can!...Oh my dear God, I think I can't!
MERCURY, IL - Mercury, Illinois jogger Geraldo "Speedy" Rodriguez recounts sensations of "egotistical arrogance and self-righteous pride", while running his fifth mile around the 5th street circle loop for the 3rd time in one day.

Rodriguez elaborates:

"I was once lazy and sedentary myself, driving thru fast food restaurants and packing on the pounds, until I awoke to a better way. I started jogging a quarter mile a day, and soon it was a half, and then before I knew it, I was heading south with the geese. It was so liberating. I feel so....alive!"

The once grossly lethargic, 240 lb., rotund Rodriguez, now a svelte 180 and dropping, expressed "deep sympathy, scorn and remorse for the fat asses in their metal coffins driving to and fro each day to an untimely doom."

Rodriguez clomped a power bar, flipped off an SUV with a Frenchman's wave and tossed back a Gatorade sports drink in a near simultaneous, orchestrated motion.

"These people are proverbial, self destructive idiots . Can't they see what a mechanized, automated fast-food lifestyle is doing to them? I fell sorry for them in a way, but I feel a sense of contempt as well. They see me out here. They should be following my lead."

Meanwhile, grossly lethargic, 240 lb. former jogger and fitness nut Johnny Beaufort turned his wheel hard right, scoffing, "If that goon gets in the way of my Benz again today, I'm going to plow his silly Spandex ass right into the next oncoming Volvo." and lamentations from Rodriguez's wife Juanita, that "I wish another part of his body had a fraction as much energy and oxygen as his brain does."

page has been viewed 6063 times


What animal is this a picture of?

x Enter the simple name for this animal... i.e., if you see a "north american grizzly bear", just enter "bear".
Surround you text with the following tags to use special formatting:
[B][/B] for Bold text.
[I][/I] for Italic text.
[QUOTE][/QUOTE] for a quote.

For example, in order to write "Smthop rules" in bold, you would enter: [B]Smthop rules[/B].




More referrals |  Add Site

Business   Editorials   Education   Entertainment   Feature   Food   Health   Law   Politics   Religeon   Site News   Space   Sports   Tech   US News   Video Games   World News  


Copyright 2010 Smooth Operator.
Website Design by SteeleITS - Privacy Policy