Cincinnati Bengals forfeit rest of Season
by Kris on 10/30/2002 (28)
 | We bring to you, your 2003 Cincinnati Bengals! | The Cincinnati Bengals are not in a good position thus far this NFL season despite high hoping of improving over their lackluster performance last season. After dropping their first seven games, the Bengals are off to their worst start since 1932 when they not only lost their first seven games but also six scrimmage games with a local high school team and were publicly humiliated in what now is simply known as the "Cow Sex Debacle". This current losing streak seems to be the prime reason sited for the recent announcement that the Bengals would be forfeiting the rest of the current NFL season to retool and prepare for the 2003 NFL season. "Coming into this season, I knew we needed some work," commented Bengals head coach Dick LeBeau, "But I had no idea we were this bad. We couldn't buy a win. Seriously, we tried. We gave the Titans a huge bag of money and they still wouldn't let us get a win. After that, we came to the consensus that rather than putting the team and the city of Cincinnati through the embarrassment of an 0 and 16 season, we would just call it quits now and prepare for the next season."  | We feel that this stock photograph sums up the 2003 Cincinnati Bengals pretty well. | While this move may seem drastic, it is not unheard of. In 1904, the big band "Your Mom" canceled three shows while they searched for a replacement baritone player after their original baritone player left under allegations of being a huge dork. While the music of "Your Mom" never really caught on, the entire band agreed that the new baritone player was far less of a dork than the old one. Years later in 1978, the short lived Major League Baseball expansion team Alabama "Satan's Left Nuts" actually removed themselves from baseball altogether after a 143 to 0 loss to the New York Yankees and went on to become the greatest rock band of all time. It seems that the Bengals are simply trying to hop on this bandwagon of success that has worked so often in the past. Unfortunately, not all Bengal players seem to see it this way. "It's really disheartening to see things happen this way," says Bengal's quarterback Jon Kitna. "We had a tough loss last week, but personally and as a team, I feel we made great strides and are on the verge of winning a few games." "He's wrong," commented LeBeau when told of Kitna's comments. "I've seen the tapes of the other teams out there. There is no chance in hell that we will win a game this season. In fact, I'm somewhat doubtful that we could win a game next season either. We should come to a decision within the next month as to whether we want to cancel the 2003 season as well."  | "Hey everybody, look at me, I'm Randy Moss! I'm a professional football player which gives me the right to be a huge jackass and run over traffic cops!" | "I totally agree with the decision," commented Pro Bowl running back Corey Dillon. "Coach (LeBeau) knows what he's doing. He's been nothing short of instrumental in the success we have experienced this season and I totally can see where he is coming from. The Bengals are like th
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