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The Rich And The Lipless
by Mark on 5/18/2006 (0)

Keep a stiff upper lip...
...if you've got one!
(AP) A recent American Medical Association study of the mouths of the very rich and famous has revealed a perplexing, common phenomena: the very rich and famous have no measurable upper lips. AMA physician Dr. R. Jay Herman describes:

"We did a study of two rich and famous men, George W. Bush and Donald Trump, and found that they both seem to lack prominent Levator labii superioris muscles, that is, the muscle used to elevate the upper lip. It is not clear what causes this condition, but neither man seems to have been born with it. It may be a symptom of extreme stress and coping, or related to their areas of endeavor in other ways, I'm not quite sure."

Dr. Herman recanted the old British expression "Keep a stiff upper lip", and how it may apply to both men

"Keep a stiff upper lip means to tighten the Levator labii superioris muscle, and not show sensuality, fear or other agitated or heightened emotions. A full, pouty, loose upper lip is suggestive of sensuality, and sensuality is suggestive of excess and lack of control, not an advantageous trait in business or politics. It's also of interest that this 'Lipless Syndrome', if I may, also affects women too, notably Hillary Clinton. It's of further interest that neither Microsoft tycoon, Bill Gates or Paul G. Allen, have substantial upper lips either."

Other lipless notables mentioned in the study inlcude Stock Market Guru Warren Buffet, and Indian Steel magnate Lakshmi Mittal.

Dr. Herman wrapped his fingers around his knee and leaned forward

"A further related study suggests that a tight upper lip may also coincide with an increase in sphincter tone in other muscles of the body," but Herman cautioned "That's another study for another time."

Lip shy,
Tonsil weary.

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