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Wite-Out Voted Most Racist Office Supply
by Kris on 4/11/2006 (8)

Wite-Out is great for correcting mistakes, patching small holes on office walls or as a quick high during your mid-afternoon break, but that doesn’t change the fact that American workers have a bitter dislike of this very useful fluid. Extensive polling of office employees nationwide has revealed that 88% find Wite-Out to be the most racists of all office supplies. Scotch Tape finished a distant second with 6% of the vote.

“Wite-Out… just what are they trying to say?” questioned office manager Dale Beverly. “At our office, we use only Liquid Paper.”

“I just can’t believe an office supply would be so strongly against whatever race it is that I am,” said one angered mailroom clerk. “Every time I see someone correcting a spelling error or typo, I die a little inside.”

Despite it’s widespread dislike, few Americans are in agreement as to who Wite-Out is discriminating against.

“On one hand, the name Wite-Out implies it is an anti-white office supply,” said correction fluid historian Brian Kloosterhouse. “But on the other hand, the correction fluid is white and covers black text, implying that the white race needs to rid the world of the black race.”

Leading even more credence to the fact that Wite-Out is a racist office supply it’s humble Nazi origins.

“Few people realize it, but Hitler was a terrible speller and constantly had to rewrite entire pages because of it,” said Kloosterhouse. “So he commissioned a team of mad scientists to develop a way to correct only the words he had misspelled rather than having to redo the entire page. What they came up with roughly translates to English as ‘White Power Correction Fluid’ and was later renamed ‘Wite-Out’ when purchased by BIC Corporation in 1992.”

Liquid Paper President James Daughterly agree with the racist sentiments circling about his chief competitor.

“Most defiantly Wite-Out is a racist office supply,” said Daughterly. “But not just against whites and blacks, they hate all other races equally too. I strongly encourage you not to buy a product which so clearly promotes hatred.”

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1. by Casey on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
This is just about the dumbest thing I have ever read in my life.g </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by wow on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Man you people r stupid how in the world can a product thats very usefull and has no intentions. Since it's not alive be racist the name simply implies that you will cover up the mistake. Who ever thinks that "Wite-Out" is racist should get a reality check.h </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by jesus fuck (on ecstasy) on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
um, yea, "wow"...listen. i didnt need to read your typo ridden comment four fucking times, thanks. i think you missed the whole point of satire, which this entire site is. retard.n </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by bdixon on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
If it wasn't for ignorant articles like this, there wouldn't be as much racism as there is in the world<if </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
5. by Jess on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
You guys are retarded or something, it's called satire for a reasons </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
6. by The Holy Cow on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Wow you guys are pathetic. This is satire, its meant to be a joke, its meant to be funny. Those that cant appreciate it can leave, choose not to read. Those people are also probably never gonna get laid with an attitude like that.isp </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
7. by you're all missing the point on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
this article isn't true at all. hitler didn't know how to write. he was functionally illiterate. that's why he was so angry all the time. also, wite out is made from the blood of arctic </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
8. by Everlasting Reign on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
"hitler didn't know how to write. he was functionally illiterate." I guess you never heard about a little book called "Mein Kampf"... Can't say I'm surprised... src=" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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