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April 13th Marks National Push All The Buttons on the Elevator Day
by Kris on 4/9/2006 (8)

Gotta press them all!
April 13th marks America's greatest national holiday since Easter, the Fourth of July, and Canadian Thanksgiving. Ever since 1987, all across America people have honored the death of the great elevator prankster Gavin Shell by pushing all the buttons on their elevator before exiting.

"It's a great tradition that annoys and delays business men and weary travelers alike," said holiday fan James Pete. "You've never seen true anger until you've seen someone trying to get to the first floor of a building having to stop at all twenty floors on the way."

The history of 'National Push All The Buttons on the Elevator Day' is one marked in blood and death. While only one life was ever lost and very little blood was actually shed, the irony of the death has perpetuated the nation's greatest new holiday.

Gavin Shell was perhaps the nations largest elevator prankster, often boasting to family, friends, and the drunken hobos he lived among about the over eleven million elevators he had pushed all the buttons on. It was Gavin's dream that one day, he would have pushed all the buttons on all the elevators in the world. At the time of his death, he had completed California and most of Nevada.

Unfortunately for Gavin, he met his untimely demise in a Las Vegas casino when his button pressing inadvertently triggered the elevator brakes to release and Gavin fell 30 stories to his death.

"Many elevators made in the late 70's had a release mechanism that would occur when all the buttons are pressed simultaneously," said elevator repairman Tim Webber. "This was a safety mechanism designed incase zombies overtook a building and needed to have an uncontrolled elevator dropped on them. By the mid-1980's, such an event was proven to be unlikely and inadvertent elevator releases were causing hundreds of deaths year, so the feature was scrapped."

And so, every year since Gavin's death, America shows it's respect to one of it's greatest visionaries and pioneers by pressing all buttons on elevators just before stepping out. It's annoying, it's childish, and it's one of our rights as Americans. So this April 13th, put away petty feelings of responsibility and maturity, throw caution to the wind, and press all those buttons on your elevator as you step out, knowing full well that you're honoring a great American and pissing off dozens of other not so great Americans.

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