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Great Mulder And Scully Mysteries Part 1 : The Missing Sock Conundrum
by Mark on 4/5/2006 (1)

Mulder and Scully
Moldy and Scuzzy
MULDER: (voiceover) I've held a torch in the darkness to glance upon a truth unknown. An act of faith begun with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance, not just of understanding, but of recovery. That the disappearance of my sister, 23 years ago, would come to be explained. And that the pursuit of these greater truths about the existence of extraterrestrial life might even reunite us. A belief which I now know to be false... and uninformed... in the extreme. My folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception. If only the tragedy had been mine alone, might it be more easy tonight to bring this journey to its end.

"Scully, there's … got to be an explanation."

"Oh, I don't know, Mulder, some things are better left unexplained."

"Scully, generation after generation the story is always the same. A pair of socks go in, one sock comes out. It doesn't seem to be defined on demographic or economic lines. A quarter at the corner Laundromat yields the same result as a Maytag in a marble mansion."

"Mulder, 2 socks define a specific number of atoms and occupy a definitive, inviolate portion of space and time. They cannot simply "dissappear". They are somewhere. They were somewhere before they went in the dryer, they are somewhere after the drying cycle is finished. To think otherwise is an apparent violation of the law of conservation of matter and energy, in which matter or energy cannot be destroyed, only converted from one form to another."

"The Universe seems to thrive on violations, Scully. Ancient Scottish tales tell of persons gone missing on the Moors, never to be found again. No traces. No sign of being sucked down into intractable highland marsh, just gone in the mist, and entire squadrons of fighter aircraft disappearing from radar in the Bermuda triangle, no radio or radar contact, no final last words. Nothing."

"What are you proposing, Mulder?"

"I'm merely proposing what best fits the facts. After all, a dryer is a porthole, is it not? Perhaps the combination of gas combustion and static electricity generated by the tumbling of clothes causes some kind of perturbation, some form of exit to another Universe, or perhaps another point in space-time. Perhaps both."

"Are you saying a dryer is a wormhole? Mulder, the best explanation is often the most simple. Socks pick up electrons in the dryer and cling to things. People don't notice everything. The majority of our daily actions go unseen or overlooked. A sock may be dropped while climbing the stairs, or may get jammed inside the dryer, or may cling to the inside of a pillow case, only to be found, unreconciled, a year later when a guest stays over. The scenarios are inumerable."

"The scenarios may be inumberable, but there is probably only one plausible solution. Scully, do you have a pen? I want to poke around in the dryer for a moment... "

"Sure, here... do you see something?"

"Look, Scully, a dollar bill a quarter and a penny... "

"What does it mean, Mulder?"

"It means that whoever is taking the socks is leaving change!"

Whoa-HO! Can't pull the "wool" over Mulders eyes, can you? Tune in next time, for more great mysteries starring Mulder and Scully in the near future, only on Smooth Operator. Hoot!

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1. by Moonbat on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Hey, you think it's a coincidence that the Vehicle Assembly Building at Cape Canaveral looks like a giant Maytag? Huh?isplay:non </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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