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Former Vikings Coach Mike Tice Finds Relaxation With Traveling Carnival
by Kris on 1/27/2006 (0)

"Hey kid, need any tickets?"
Few people can claim to have had a stranger, more eventful 2005 than former Vikings head coach Mike Tice. The year began with Tice himself being fined heavily for scalping Super Bowl tickets. Shortly after, his projected starting running back was caught with the Wizzinator, a prosthetic penis used for passing drug tests.

As if the off the field issues weren't enough already, on the field the Vikings started off losing four of their first five games. Then came the Love Boat incident, where a number of Tice's players were caught performing lude acts on a public cruise. Bad news struck once more as the Vikings lost their starting quarter back to injury for the remainder of the season.

But amidst all the turmoil, the Vikings flourished, winning their next six games an nearly making the playoffs. Despite the strong finish, Tice was fired by Vikings owner Zygie Wilf only moments after the conclusion of the Viking's final game.

"Last season everything kept getting stranger and stranger," said Tice. "I look forward to finally being able to have a relaxing, normal day with a collection of unwashed carnies, Siamese twins, and dancing midgets."

With that very thought in mind, Tice has recently joined the Scurvy Brothers Carnival, a traveling carnival originating out of West Virginia long heralded for the finest funnel cakes on the east coast.

Currently Tice is only cleaning the elephant cages, but as he learns more of the business, he hopes to get into other areas of the carnival such as running the Ferris wheel, taming lions, or swinging on the trapeze. He may even get to use the skills he gained scalping Super Bowl tickets to sell tickets to their daily three ring circus show.

"This will be a welcome change from the rigors of the NFL season," said Tice. "I can't think of anything more relaxing than scooping up twenty pound piles of shit with a shovel for eight hours a day."

Tice is not the only NFL coach to join a carnival after losing his job. In 1996 after being fired from his job as Detroit Lions head coach, Wayne Fontes joined a traveling carnival where he posed as the Bearded-Lady. He was fired two weeks later when it was discovered he was neither bearded or a lady.0" style="display:no

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