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First Date Marriage Proposal Ends in Heartbreak
by Kris on 12/28/2005 (2)

"My parents would love if you moved in with us... we've got cable."
They'd only know each other for a week. But that didn't stop one Nelson County, Virginia man from following his heart and doing something that most pundits agree to be "very stupid".

"I just felt, deep in my heart, that this was the person that I was meant to spend the rest of my life," said 25 year old Louis Thompson. "There wasn't any sense in dancing around the subject when it was obvious to even the hobos that we were perfect together."

While this train of thought would seem logical to even the most illogical of men, the woman in this story felt differently.

"The nerve of this guy, we just met," said 24 year old Joanna Smith. "I didn't even want to go on a second date, much less spend the rest of my life with this moron. I only went out with him because I thought he drove a nice car. Turned out, he's a valet and parks nice cars."

Louis picked up Joanna earlier that night in his 1986 Ford Tempo, a car he often describes as "the best car $45 can buy". Louis then treated Joanna to dinner at Big Boy, a meal he often described as "the best meal $7.50 can buy".

"The chicken strips were delicious and the service was great as always" described Louis. "Up to this point, it was the perfect date."

"It was the worst date I have ever been on," described Joanna. "He showed up to my house in a shitty car, which broke down in my driveway and we had to call a cab, which I paid for. Then he took me to Big Boy, you don't take a girl who's wearing her nicest dress and spent the last four hours doing her hair to Big Boy!"

After leaving Big Boy, the two lovebirds began the five mile walk in pouring rain to the movie theater where they had tickets to see Doom 3.

"What better way to say I love you than with a movie about demons from Hell?" comment Louis of his bizarre first date movie choice.

But the two never reached the movies. Midway there, as witnessed by drunken hobos and street walkers, Louis knelt on one knee, revealed a plastic ring he had bought from a vending machine at Big Boy, and popped the proverbial question.

"It just felt like the right time," said Louis. "I looked deep into whatever color eyes that she had and realized that spending the rest of my life with this woman would be just swell."

"Boy was that the wrong time," said Joanna. "When a young girl envisions the day she gets proposed to, never does that vision include a dark alley full of homeless people and hookers. In fact, it would be my wish to never be in such an alley ever again."

Despite being rejected by Joanna that fateful night, then spit on, then pushed into a dumpster, then verbally abused for nearly an hour, Louis's attempts to win over his new lady love have been largely undeterred.

"Sure it hurts being rejected and pushed into a dumpster and being laughed at by dozens of homeless people, but I know she loves me, she just doesn't know it yet," said Louis. "I'm gonna keep calling her and keep stopping by her work and keep watching her from the bushes outside her house until she realizes she loves me too."

"The restraining order goes into effect Tuesday," commented Joanna.

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1. by bill on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
His kind appear to be a good reason for birth control.?sid=1 </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by HOWARD BUMPASS on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
IS HIS MOTHER CABLE BETTER THAN WHAT YA GOT! JONNA, IT;S LIKE TWO FOR ONE! KEEP IN TOUCH WITH THIS GUY. SEE HIM AT THE NEXT REUNION. YOU JUST NEVER KNOW! </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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