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Smooth Operator Celebrates Three Years of Awesomeness!
by Kris on 7/22/2005 (0)

Three years down, and we've got a slew of comments about the site from our dozens of loyal viewers.

"You guys make my day every day. Now if only I could find someone willing to change my adult diaper."

"This site brings hope where there was none. And the polls are fun too."

"I'll have this website shut down if it's the last thing I do."

"This website gives me hope that I too may one day become a great Internet writer."

"I wish that one day I would get quoted on a website some day."

Three years ago to this very day, Smooth Operator was founded. It was a dark and stormy day, but site founder Kris pressed on regardless of the poor weather, constant criticism from family and friends, and numerous shark attacks.

"I knew it, deep in my heart, that this great idea would succeed if I just followed through," said Kris in an interview with himself earlier today. "Despite everyone and everything that was against me, and a horrible case of head lice, I would not give up."

So with great convictions and faith in his heart and Budweiser running through his veins, Kris unveiled the world's first floating stapler to a crowd of excited reporters, excitement that quickly turned to disgust.

"You see, now if you're stapling papers while in the pool and drop your stapler, it's easy to get!" proclaimed Kris, which quickly caused the crowd in the room to began to disband.

"If clearing an entire room isn't a sure sign of failure, I'm not sure what is," said Kris. "I had to do something to get their attention back, so I yelled the first thing that came to mind."

"And I'm starting a website too!" he screamed.

"A website! What a wonderful idea," said one reporter. Others expressed similar sentiments.

"That's just what the world needs" said Sam Donaldson, reporter for the Idiot Times. "The Internet seems great and all, but there just isn't much there. Another website, what awesomeness!"

So with these simple words, Smooth Operator was created. Within a year, Smooth Operator had revolutionized an Internet that was previously falling out of favor with many. After another year, it had become the most popular website in trailer parks nationwide. In three years, Smooth Operator has become the most popular website on the planet, brought peace to the world, and is on the verge of inventing a new design for folding chairs that will allow them to be stored in half the space of normal folding chairs.

"It had been a poor few years for my baby," said Internet creator Al Gore. "IPO's were going bankrupt left and right, thousands of websites were going under, and child pornographers were running rampart. Thankfully, Smooth Operator was founded and quickly gave the public a credible news source for all their fake news needs. It didn't solve those other problems, but I got a good laugh which is nearly as good."

Over the three years that Smooth Operator has been around, our staff has written hundreds of articles covering a wide array of topics. From politics to celebrity news, from business to space warfare, from religion to David Hasselhoff, you'll find it all on Smooth Operator. As a special treat to both our loyal readers, some of the site's current active writers have compiled lists of their favorite articles they have written for the site. So check the lists below for some of the best articles here on Smooth Operator. And thanks for a great three years, I hope you all will stay with us for the next three!

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