Dumbass Kid Plays Anakin Skywalker, Gets Head Stuck In Chair
on 5/23/2005 (1)
TURTLEVILLE, OK - In the latest string of Star Wars copy cat minor disasters, fourth grade Turtleville Elementary School student Jimmy Skufka got his head stuck in a chair, while "pretending to be Anakin Skywalker trying to battle Boba Fett".
|"I-I'm a Jedi!!...Augghh!" |
Skufka reportedly poked his head through a hole in a back support and wore the chair like a body shield, madly flailing the legs like a battery of 4 light sabers. It wasn't until study hall ended that Skufka discovered he was hopelessly jammed in the chair. Firefighters from the Turtleville emergency squad were called in with bolt cutters and hacksaws to free the boy, who was badly shaken, but not harmed.
Principal Johnny Skinner chuckled
"It happens like clockwork every time a new Star Wars film is released. After Attack of the Clones came out, we had 16 kids lined up in nursing with minor lacerations from yard-stick light sabers, blackboard chalk blasters and spitball ion cannons. Mrs. Johnson took an ion blast right in the rear-end. Damn kids were calling her a Womprat!"
Principal Skinner admits he is glad the Star Wars saga has finally drawn to a close, although he confesses comparing Mrs. Johnson's ass to a Womprat's was "like nailing a 4 foot exhaust port from a speeding X-wing fighter without radar guided firing control."g
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