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Taco Bell Employee Runs for the Border
by Kris on 4/12/2005 (3)

Watch out, he's got a challupa and he's not afraid to use it!
For years, Taco Bell commercials have been telling us to run for the border. And that is just what Taco Bell employee Dan Wilson was doing when he was tackled by two police officers and taken into their custody.

Wilson is a resident of El Paso, Texas, very near the border of Mexico. He has lived there since 1995 when his parents forced him out of their home, citing that "32 was too old to be still living at home".

This was not his first run-in with law enforcement. In 1996 Wilson was arrested for hitting golf balls into a trailer park. Then in 2001, he was arrested for mowing his lawn in the nude. He served thirty days in jail for refusal to pay the fines for the later incident, claiming that his "body was a work of art" and that the world was "better off for having seen it". He was also linked to an elaborate plot to unthaw frozen baseball player Ted Williams and use him as the first member of a zombie army but no conviction was ever made.

The two police officer entered Taco Bell at approximately 12:45 pm with the intent of "sitting down" and "eating".

"We were hungry, that's what happens around lunch time," said officer Steven Davis. "The grilled stuffed burrito was calling my name... Steve... Steve..."

Their order was taken by Wilson, who was nearing the end of his four hour shift.

"He was polite, but he seemed a little on edge," said the other officer, Jeremy Nelson. "He kept looking around, like something was going on."

It was when Wilson gave back the officers the change from the purchase of the meal that all hell broke loose.

"I gave him a twenty, but he only gave me change for a ten," said Davis. "When I questioned him about it, he threw the container of straws in my face, grabbed our food, leapt over the counter, and ran out of the restaurant."

The two police officers followed after Wilson, who was surprisingly fast for a man that was running and eating a burrito at the same time.

"I've never seen such mastery of food," said Nelson. "It was a thing of beauty."

A mere mile from the Mexican border, the officers were able to catch Davis bring him to the ground. Sadly, by this time, all their food was gone.

"I could still smell the food on his breath," said Davis. "It must have been delicious."

Davis is currently being held at the El Pasco County Police Department for questioning. He is being charged with a misdemeanor count of theft and resisting arrest. Wilson is facing life in prison under the "Three Strikes" law in Texas. It is not entirely clear why he ran from police as he had committed no crime up to that point.

"Nothing was found on his person and his body was free of alcohol and drugs," said police chief Roy Johnson. "Best we can figure, he was simply overstressed and lost it when questioned by two authority figures. Fortunately that won't happen again, Mr. Wilson is going away for a long, long time."

The store manager at Taco Bell has apologized for Davis's behavior and offered the two officers employee discount prices on their next visit.

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