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Batmobile Wins Daytona 500, No One Cares Or Even Notices
by Mark on 3/9/2005 (0)

Make that four bat tires, and four bat gallons, chum!
DAYTONA BEACH - In a bizzare, unexpected shocker finale, the Batmobile, piloted by Adam West, a.k.a. "The Original Batman" rocketed to a first place finish against a star studded field at the Daytona National Speedway Feb 13.

Tossing his Dupont Bell helmet down hard, Daytona 500 contestant Jeff Gordon fumed and snarled

"This is bullshit! Batman won LAST year too! He's in a different class, goddammit it! He's got rocket power on that thing...just ain't right!"

Even more amazingly, no-one even seems to have noticed. In a sometimes seemingly frantic, and only partially successful effort to promote NASCAR as a legitimate sport outside of the deep South, sponsors, producers and promoters, investing multi-millions, have captured all the production glitz of pro football, but without the same mass appeal, NASCAR often producing only lukewarm spectator interest and enthusiasm at best.

Gordon's teamate Jimmie Johnson concurred

"A goshdang rocket powered Budweiser truck won in 2003, and a jet powered Winnebago in 2002. It's enough to make a grown man take up needle point, for goddsake!"

NASCAR promoters are engaged in a tireless effort to increase viewer enthusiasm, candidly confessing that making NASCAR exciting is frankly equivalent to "racing around the block 500 times alone without a CD player and a serious neckache."

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