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Idiot Dog Clomps 3 Tennis Balls, Sets New Canine Record
by Mark on 2/23/2005 (0) 
 | | Tennis ball clomping...going for the Gold | | (AP) - A new world record was set by Harley, an American Golden Retriever at the Canine Olympics in Athens, GA, today.
Clomping a trio of green tennis balls like a drunk sucking pickled boiled eggs, Harley's owner, Peter Farkas, proudly explains:
"Harley developed this rare talent several years back. First he started with both of my slippers, then worked his way into golf balls, and finally tennis balls. At his hiatus, he even clomped 4 tennis balls, but the judges disallowed it because they claimed he didn't have "definitive possession" of the 4th ball. Oh well. I though the ruling was bullshit, but we'll train for 4 next year anyway!"
Other categories in the canine Olympics included tail chasing, leg-humping, drooling, butt smelling and peanut butter licking
"The peanut butter licking competition was won by a tiny Japanese Shiba Inu. Those little Jap dogs have been dominant in the competitive eating division for years. A French Grand Griffon Vendeen won the butt smelling medal, and a 2 year old Canadian black Labrador the leg humping Gold. A Saint Bernard walked away with the drooling catagory, and a Wire Whippet clinched the tail chasing Gold with ease. Ever see a crazy whippet chase its tail? Man, that is the funniest!"
Canine Olympics are pondering creating new categories in future Olympiads, including poop eating, all night barking, and tire chasing, but have yet to receive approval from committee.
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