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Woman Watches Infomercial, Actually Buys Into It
by Mark on 1/6/2005 (2)

Set it and regret it!
POUGHKIPSIE, NY - House Frau Myra Stone buys what they're selling

Noisely crunching a vita-nutrient brown-syrup rice bar, Myra flipped through late night infomercials like a Vegas handle man through a crap table deck

"Look! This one is aimed straight at my heart! It's unbelievable! How on earth did they know I'm tired, overweight and never feel vibrant with energy? I think I need those time-release Vitapower energy shakes myself! At least I think so! I also need an Ab Cruncher, the Carlton Sheets no-money-down real estate audio tapes, and a Popeil's rotisserie oven! Set it and forget it!"

Unknown to Myra Stone, she is one of millions of divorced, overweight, broke, generally disenfranchised or simply unhappy with life Americans who are the target audience of highly focused, cynical, profiteering Infomercials, specifically written to pry the few remaining dollars out of the already depressed or otherwise weak of character, promising get rich quick schemes, flat abs, droves of vital energy, miraculous "new" home appliances or dizzying spiritual bliss.

Predictably, Infomercials almost never deliver what they are selling. In fact, Infomercials are just privately produced snake-oil TV ads that deliberately attempt to fool naive viewers into believing that since they are on TV, they are credible, and borrow from Television's ubiquitous, "authoritative" air.

If it's on TV, it must be true, right?

Of course not. TV is not a public service, as many might believe. TV is a big money maker, first and foremost.

Infomercials are merely a creative production gambit to utilize late night "dead" airtime slots that Hollywood has no interest in investing in, and ruthlessley target the highly suggestible, weaker willed and minded individuals who have the most to lose and the least to gain. The fact that many of these lost, forlorn souls are insomniacs -up all night with worries- is all the better.

Myra's interest had peaked. She grabbed her credit card and hit the phone

"I'll take two bottles of the Vegeriffic Power Vitathin pills, and a Gut Buster Plus! Overnight it! And throw in the FREE Pesto-Pasta maker and Crusty Custard machine while your at it!

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1. by merry_rogue on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
At our local mall, there's a store called, "As Seen on TV" where you can actually purchase only items that are "not sold in stores." You see it on TV, it's more than likely there. I've read similar things about all of the hair removing, hair growing, no exercise necessary products out there that I've seen. Ironically, as it's late at night and the TV's on, there really is a vitamin infomercial on right now with people saying things like, "It's been the easiest $6,000 I ever made in a week." </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Carlton Sheets is the King Prdeaor of all. He rapes foreclosure victims and his sales clients. See you in Detroit, I mean hell!i </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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