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Sore-Losermans head to Canada, Canada somewhat reserved
by Mark on 11/7/2004 (0) sure to bring some beer from The States with you, eh?
VANCOUVER, BC - A sudden rush of distraught and Bush-miffed Lib voters are applying for Canadian citizenship, rather than return to their ideological Waterloo back home.

Vancouver mayor Larry Campbell, discretely reminding himself that Canada is the U.S.'s largest trading partner, offered subtle reassurance

"*Ahem*...uhh, I just want to make it firm and clear that Americans are welcome in Canada at any time, although there is an approval and review process that will not be compromised because of the results of the U.S. election this week. Applicants for citizenship must file applications and wait out a decision. I personally would prefer if these 'specialty applicants' would cool off for a few months to see if running away from their country of origin -just because the results of a fair, popular vote didn't suit their tastes- is really what they want for themselves and their families. I personally am afraid that that this highly emotional type of individual may eventually find themselves disillusioned with Canada as well. Cold fact is, you can't please everyone, and no system is perfect, not even ours."

Canadian immigration officials are reportedly engaged in broken, incomplete telephone conversations with disgruntled, hysterical Kerry voters seeking self-imposed asylum, such as "Uh-uhh..yeah, sure...we're always looking for more Americans up here." and "Umm...o.k...let me put you on hold and I'll, errr...transfer you to the right extension...o.k.?""0" s

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