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Curse of The Bambino Lifted, Curse of The Mummy Remains
by Kris on 10/29/2004 (3) 
 | | You'll be wishing you still had the Curse of the Bambino when faced with the Curse of the Mummy! | | In 1918 the Boston Red Sox won the World Series. The following year, they sold the greatest baseball player ever, Babe Ruth (The Bambino), to the rival New York Yankees. Since that fateful day, the ghost of Babe Ruth has cursed the Red Sox, forever casting bad fortunes and thwarting their attempts to win another championship. After 86 years of being cursed with futility, all that finally came to an end in 2004 as the Red Sox completed a 4-game sweep of the St. Louis Cardinals to win the World Series.
The initial mood after the victory was joy and excitement but that soon quelled with the realization that another curse, perhaps even more deadly, still hung over their heads.
“It is great to have one curse gone, but there is still another that worries me,” said World Series MVP Manny Ramirez. “This curse makes me fear for my very life.”
“I was worried about the Yankees being my Daddy, I should have been more worried about the Mummy,” said Boston pitcher Pedro Martinez.
 After their torturous American League Championship Series loss in game seven to the New York Yankees last year, the Red Sox needed something to take their minds off of the series and reenergize for a championship run the following season.
“I saw how down everyone was, so I did something for them that I thought that would make them forget about all their troubles,” said Red Sox owner John Henry. “I figured everyone loves Egypt, I thought a vacation would do them all good.”
Henry purchased a travel package to Egypt for the entire team, complete with tours of numerous Ancient Egyptian Pyramids. It was during one of these tours that the Boston Red Sox discovered a formerly unknown tomb and unleashed the vengeful Curse of the Mummy.
“I said to them, ‘Don’t wander off from tour’ but they not listen to me,” said their tour guide and Hollywood actor Matt Daemon. “Sox wander off, make big mess.”
“We thought we saw Aaron Boone,” said Derek Lowe, Red Sox pitcher. “We took off to go kick his ass.”
In a vain attempt to whoop-ass on that man who had ended their playoff run with a walk-off homerun only weeks ago, the entire Red Sox team managed to find their way into one of the ancient pyramids and discover a previously unknown tomb.
“I think he went in there,” said right fielder Trot Nixon, pointing at the sarcophagus of Pharaoh Longbendead.
With Nomar pleading in the background to stop, the rest of the Red Sox lifted the stone cover from the sarcophagus and slid it to the floor. A large cloud of dust from inside the sarcophagus filled the room. When it had settled, there was no sign of Aaron Boone; there were only the mummified remains of Longbendead.
“That’s hideous, he looks worse than Don Zimmer!” proclaimed Pedro.
Matt Daemon caught up to the Red Sox just as they were about to exit the room, disappointment on their faces and shiny gold trinkets in their pockets.
“That room is full of gold jewelry, take as much as you want!” said a very excited Johnny Damon.
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