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Glue Sniffing increases likelihood of Bedwetting
by Kris on 7/27/2004 (12)

Just one of many reasons Johnny's parents don't love him.
Glue sniffing could interfere with the body’s ability to handle urine containment, thus worsening an ever growing rash of teenage bedwetting, U.S. researchers said Friday.

The team at St. Joseph's Community College in Idiot, North Dakota found a strong correlation between abusive glue sniffing and increased occurrences of nighttime bedwetting among teenage boys and girls.

“It’s a real problem,” said longtime gluesniffer Ted McAllister. “Every time I sniff glue, I end up pissing all over myself.”

The American Bedwetting Society says that at least 75% of the 10 million Americans diagnosed with chronic bedwetting have Class P bedwetting, in which the body produces more urine than the bladder can contain for extended periods, such as the typical time spent sleeping each night. Those who sniff glue on a regular basis produce almost five more gallons of urine a day than a non-glue sniffer, thus leaving them even more susceptible to bedwetting.

“You can’t stop urine, you can only hope to contain it,” claims John Dorman, longtime bedwetting sufferer.

The findings are significant enough that the researchers recommend people with chronic bedwetting and a passion for glue sniffing either dramatically reduce the amount of glue that they sniff or invest in easily washable plastic sheets.

“In a healthy person, urine can be contained safely and relatively harmlessly in the bladder,” said Alfred White, a long time bedwetter turned scientist. “It appears that those teens who sniff large amounts of glue produce far more urine than the average person and lack the ability to contain it in their bodies.”

Writing in the publication Bedwetters Monthly, White and his imaginary army of midget ninjas said they studied fifteen habitual gluesniffers ranging in age from 10 years old to 45 years old.

The researchers put the volunteers on a controlled diet of caramel corn, beets, and gummy worms. “It was the only food we had left after the cannibals decimated our village,” claimed White.

"You can’t stop urine, you can only hope to contain it."
- John Dorman, Bedwetter
The volunteers took their medications, had their urine tested daily, and went through as many as forty sets of sheets each during the six-week trial.

“The goal of clinical treatment for bedwetters is to keep urine production down and urine retention up,” said White, clearly stating what everyone obviously already knew.

“It seems that glue, by further increasing urine production, is something bedwetters should consider avoiding, just like American’s try to avoid the plague and Michael Bolton. Some people already watch their liquid intake and take naps during the day to reduce the overall time spent sleeping each night. Avoiding glue sniffing might be another way to better manage this most terr


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