Smooth Operator - Woman confuses 'hydrocarbons' with 'carbohydrates'

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Woman confuses 'hydrocarbons' with 'carbohydrates'

by Mark on 7/3/2004 (0)

Hydrocarbons...no, I mean carbohydrates!

Manicurist Suzie Noonan, not fully understanding what 'carbohydrates' were, made a near fatal blunder in her misguided interpretation of the Atkins diet.

Sitting up and resting comfortably from a hospital bed in Ft. Worth, Texas, Noonan sipped from a cup of ice water and rubbed her aching stomach

"I-I had to have my tummy pumped. It was kinda scary, really. I wanted to lose some weight to look sexier for my job, and I heard about the Atkins diet. I guess I screwed up, though."

It seems Noonan had referenced 'hydrocarbons' on Google instead of 'carbohydrates', and was drinking 2 quarts of 10W/30W Valvoline a day for several weeks. When asked how she could have possibly made such a seemingly empty headed blunder, Noonan recalled

"I flunked out of Chemistry 101 in high school, and ended up in the beauty school program a week later."

Outside of severe acute flatulence, Noonan is expected to make a full recovery.<

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