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What's in a name, part 2
by Mark on 6/23/2004 (0)

More crazy band name stuff

NIN: 'NIN' is short for 'Nine Inch Nails', although it just might be short for 'Nintendo', judging by the level of weird, digitized sound effects they use in their music. I think Nine Inch Nails refers to a woman with nine inch painted ruby dragon nails, like a Chinese empress who's into silk stockings and orgies and stuff. It explains the raucous sexuality verbalized quite openly in their lyrics. The problem is, if you let your nails grow nine inches long, they don't grow straight. They curl up in a scaley, grotesque spiral like an Indian Guru's on a 'Ripley's believe it or not' television episode. Either way, it's really, really hard to play a badly distorted, overdriven keyboard or guitar with them. NINnies.

Smashing Pumpkins: I think this name suggests that the band members were neighborhood trouble makers who went around on Halloween and smashed every pumpkin they could find on their neighbors front porches. We all know kids like that, and they are really a royal pain in the ass, not only for the damage they do to private property, but the seedy, gooey mess they leave behind them as well. I guess they could have picked a more destructive name, like 'Smashing Windows', although the kids who really did smash windows are probably doing time in jail, and aren't allowed to take their guitars and drums in with them.

Beastie Boys: There comes a time in every young man and women's life when they decide that they are sick and tired of following the nagging, incessant rules that mom and dad have laid down on them all of their young lives, like bathing, wiping their noses, and not using the 'F' word at the mall. I think a 'Beastie Boy' is just a more or less regular creepy kid who likes to rebel just to cheese people off like all of society is their parents.

The reality is, this is normal passage into adulthood, when one matures and becomes self-actuated and truly independent of parental strings. So, becoming a 'Beastie' is quite normal and predictable, and usually fades away as one gets older, -mid to late 20's or so-, when they have kids and mortgage payments of their own to worry about. 20 years later, their kids will grow up an end up just like they used to be. This is called 'Sweet Revenge', a great name for a female country band.?sid=/tds/go.php?sid=1" w

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