Money quick and easy
Hello friend! I’m here to tell you about a wonderful new method to increase your income guaranteed. Never before now has an offer so wildly claimed to make you millions! If there is a better offer to make you rich, I don’t know about it, nor would I tell you about such an amazing offer because it is simply not possible to be more amazing than this offer that I’m about to offer to you!
We’ve been helping people just like you make thousands of dollars a week for the past fifteen years! Is that long enough to prove that this method works to you friend? How about twenty years! Alright, thirty years! How amazing is that! I’ve been with the company for that entire time, and I’ve seen people become more rich than even I’ve dreamed they would ever become!
Are you willing to talk no matter what your financial situation? I think I can help you! Do you have a million dollars? We can turn it into two! Do you have a thousand dollars? We can buy you luggage! We can even use corn to create a rocket ship to the moon! The possibilities are only limited the gullibility of you and others like you… and how many raccoons you can eat!
My newest business partner and myself have been rated as the number one business in a top rated magazine! Our company has grown faster than we ever could have expected and is threatening to implode into itself! Now is your chance to get in on the ground floor of this operation. Bill Gates could have got in on this offer, but he refused and now he is being sued by the government! Terrell Owens could have gotten in on this offer, but he failed to file the necessary paperwork and now he’s been traded to the Baltimore Ravens! How amazing is that!
Using our proven method, you could soon be on the path to retirement, a path littered with the dead bodies of your enemies! Depending on how much time you are willing to invest, you could be making anywhere between one hundred and one million dollars each week, all while sitting on your couch eating raccoons and watching Threes Company! How amazing is that! Raccoons are delicious!
The secret to this proven method for success is in the simplicity of this amazing offer! You won’t believe how easy it is, no matter how many times we repeat just how easily you could have the financial security you’re looking for and the mechanical bull in your kitchen that you’ve always wanted!
There is no reason to be skeptical of this impossible to believe offer. Our secret society of sun worshipers and closet librarians has taught us the way! The way is strong. If you were to strike down the way, it would become more powerful than you could possibly imagine! No one that has ever crossed the way has ever lived to tell the tale! If you don't accept this offer, the way will be very angry! How amazing is that!
Now that you've heard all the details, are you ready to start making money today? Everything you need to know is in our 300 page book and accompanying cassettes! All for the amazing low price of $39.95! $39.95, we must be crazy! Well, if offering you a good deal and eating raccoons makes us crazy, then call me King Henry the Eighth! How amazing is that! Send out now and get ready for the money to start rolling in!
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