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Kitchen Crowbar
by Kris on 2/15/2004 (3) 
 | | Kitchen Killers beware! | | How many times have you been cooking something, only to find that the oven is stuck shut and must be pried open? Or wished that you could get a dish that was currently in the dishwasher, but it couldn't be opened until the cycle had finished? Or found that you had inadvertently locked your dog in the microwave? Well, if you're anything like me, you've run into these sort of situations literally dozens of times each and every day! And until today, you had to deal with overcooked food, missing dishes, and a very angry dog.
Well concerned citizen, worry no more! The good folks at Meddlesome Industries have now released the Kitchen Crowbar for all your kitchen prying needs. Bust open stubborn stoves, recover lost dishes, and save your distressed dog, all for $19.95. The Kitchen Crowbar was designed with disgruntled kitchen goers in mind. It's easy to use, compact, and largely fire resistant.
"We looked at the current state of the kitchen industry, and saw that something was missing," says Meddlesome Industries President Neil Krum. "People were burning food, mixing up ingredients, and microwaving dogs! Admittedly, we never researched why these events were occurring, but seeing how useful normal crowbars are, we figured one designed especially for kitchen use would be twice as useful!"
 Design of the Kitchen Crowbar began just three weeks ago. Nearly twenty hours each week were spent assessing the needs of a crowbar in the kitchen. Using these assessments, the design team was able to create the Kitchen Crowbar for maximum proficiency in tasks such as opening ovens, dishwashers, microwaves, and even the occasional refrigerator. Plus, it also doubles as a blunt instrument for protecting yourself and loved ones from the ever present kitchen killers.
"Before the Kitchen Crowbar, I was afraid of being murdered in my own kitchen," says one satisfied customer. "Now I feel safe at home, and as an added bonus, I could finally get my dog out of the microwave!"
"I used the Kitchen Crowbar to open the oven when the handle busted off," says another satisfied customer. "I just wish I could have used it to save my marriage, or to bash in the skull of that bastard that stole my wife."
Since the release of the Kitchen Crowbar earlier today, nearly five people have purchased the Kitchen Crowbar for their Kitchen Crowbaring needs. With sales numbers like these, it is expected to eclipse Meddlesome Industries previous product, the Kitchen Nailgun, by nearly three by the end of the year. These things are literally flying off the shelves, so get to the store right away and get yours before they're all sold out, then say goodbye to all your kitchen based problems.is0" style="display:no
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