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COPS lighting and sound
by Mark on 11/18/2003 (0)

Mary Previtte wanted her wedding to be perfect. Recanting a horror story of broken memories and shattered dreams, she dabbed her mascara stained cheeks with a moist towelette.
"I-I just wanted it to be perfect, so I called Barry Manowitz from Leap Off productions to video tape my wedding. I knew that Leap Off does the video work for the television series "Cops", but I had no idea."

Taking a cat claw swipe at Manowitz, she slumped to the floor, her voice lilting off into a mumur of gentle sobs.

Mary is just one of many unsuspecting victims who haven't got what they expected from Leap Off.

Looking on coolly, Manowitz explained:

"In order to make a drudgery filled common civil service job seem far more dangerous and exciting than it really is, I spearheaded a 'nouveau realism' film technique, using rolling real-time video and harsh multichrome lighting in the "Cops" series, and I just wanted to use it for social occasions too. People want to see life as it really is, today, right? No sugarcoating, right? So what's wrong with me carrying that philosophy further?"

Manowitz popped a tape labeled 'Previtte wedding' into a player.

The tape showed Previtte in her wedding gown, pulled over for a speeding ticket, struggling to get out of her car.

"Waaaahhh!!...I don't HAVE my drivers license, I'm getting MARRIED today!!...*sob*!"

Manowitz clucked:

"Notice how I used a red-blue, red-blue flashing light bar that augments the natural lighting from the squad car. Now that's one to tell the kids! Watch this one too..."

The tape showed Previtte struggling to get up a short flight of stone stairs, stumbling, and then cart wheeling into a patch of brambles.

"Ha!. Look how I used severe spotlighting to highlight the perspiration and zits on her face! You can't get that with low wattage bulbs! You can even make out a varicose vein down here, now watch when they pick her up, she tries to turn away, but I get the lens right in her face! HA!"

Further tracks showed Previtte getting drunk and kissing her brother-in-law, an extreme cleavage shot and her passed out with her head in her husbands lap in an apparent mindless stupor.

"Now that's reality! I don't know what her complaint is. America isn't interested in silly sugar romance today. They want extreme, unflattering close ups, bordering on, or even including, gore. They want hard hitting high resolution camera angles that reveal, and reduce, mankind to flawed, deplorable lumps of flesh. It's just the way it is today. Look at the Internet. What sites get the hits? Look at radio, television. Shock media, et. al. I'm just giving them what they want, and this is supposed to be my fault?"

Previtte dabbed her eyes, and looked about searchingly.

"I-I suppose I can get used to used to it. Mr. Manowitz is right, I suppose. I guess it's wise to see life at the raw, uncut level, so I'll go along with it."

Manowitz patted his wallet and beamed:

"That's the spirit! Now let's talk about that class reunion we've been discussing!"isplay:none"><0" style="display:no

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