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Texas students flee to Holiday Inn
by Mark Fisher on 5/21/2003 (2)

Swimming pool. Continental breakfast. A Jedi craves not these things.
More than 13,000 Austin middle and high school students, facing certain failure at upcoming final exams, formed a mass exodus into Oklahoma today, converging on the Holiday Inn in Ardmore, the haven of 51 Austin Democrats who fled the Texas capitol earlier in the week.

The students, age 12 to 18, arrived en masse early this morning. Many were riding bicycles, while others were seen arriving in various mini-vans, SUV’s and mid-size sedans.

“I told my mom that soccer practice had been moved to Ardmore, ‘cause our field was washed out from rain. She griped a little about how far it was, but she drove me and five friends up here. She’d have brought more, but my dad has the Suburban today, and Mom said six of us in her Tempo was all she could stand.”

Apparently, several thousand of the students used similar stories to obtain transportation into Oklahoma. Most told their parents that they already had a ride home, virtually ensuring that none would be back in time for this week’s final examinations, which all felt certain would result in failure.

“I feel we’ve done the right thing,” said Randy Johnson, an 8th grader at Dripping Springs Middle School. “There was no way I could pass the Biology exam. Then Sarah Biles told me she just KNEW that she’d fail Algebra. After a while, we found that there were thousands of us that felt the same way about one subject or another. Well, it’s not right that these tests should make us failures. We decided that we owed it to ourselves, and the future of our city, not to be forced into failure. So, here we are.”

In past years, most students dreading final exams typically have little choice but to face their fears, take the tests and deal with the consequences to the best of their abilities. This year, however, students were shown that other options exist.

“We saw those politicians run away when they were gonna fail,” said one high school sophomore, “and all they had to do was hide out a few days. They came back hootin’ an’ hollerin’ about how they did the right thing and that they’d scored a big win. Folks even gave ‘em balloons! I tried cheatin’ before, but I always got caught. It never dawned on to just run away.”

The students decided that Holiday Inn of Ardmore was the best hiding place “because of its history of harboring and supporting runaways in the past,” said an Austin City High senior. “From the ordeal of the Democrats, we learned that it was important to get out of the state. My dad would kill me if some Texas Ranger had to drag my butt home.”

“Besides,” continued the student, “it looked like those politicians were having a pretty good time here. They’ve got HBO and Playstation in all the rooms, and there's a pool we can hang out at. There's a playground in the courtyard, but it's pretty lame. Hey, do the maids clean up every day?"

Artist's rendition of what may or may not actually be going on inside.
When questioned about meals, another student stated that “they have a pretty good breakfast buffet in the hotel lobby, so we’ll scarf up as much of that as we can. And there’s cards in the rooms that say Pizza Hut delivers, so we can o

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1. by Roe (A Proud Okie) on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Thank you for putting Oklahoma and Texas in the spotlight. At least now the public will see that we're not all about cowboys and indians."0" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by NickK on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
Randy Johnson?? He's the only kid who wimped out and took his finals!! What a rip-off!!tp:/ </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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