Rampaging Giant Jesus Statue Comes To Life, Ravages Small Town
on 11/7/2010 (1)
Swiebodzin, Poland – A Giant 200 foot tall metal and concrete statue
of Jesus “suddenly became awoke and wrenched itself free from its concrete
pedestal, smiting and crushing everyone in its pass” according to terrified and beleaguered witnesses.
“It broked loose and went on rampage!” roared terrified Polish General Mieczslaw
Cieniuch “It went crazy like, and stomped on cars and went looking for Mosques! My brother loses chicken stand! Very wild and crazy!”
In fact, rampaging giant Jesus is not alone
Worldwide, giant statues of Mohammed were also reported as coming to life and stomping on minority Christian churches in Saudi Arabia, a Giant Buddha broke free of its granite moorings and tackled a stone rendition of a giant Vishnu in Calcutta, and numerous smaller statuets, including Ra, Apollo, Cupid, Juno, Attis, Isis, Anubis, Ishtar, Susanoo, Mama Cocha, Anu, Thor, Helios, Angus, Manco Capac, Bacchus, Yu Di, Achilles, Rama and Krishna among countless other lesser knowns came to life and fought in museums worldwide, even punching and kicking museum goers who haplessly got in the way, in one case breaking a Canadian man’s nose.
“The mythical world has come to life!” buzzed noted Egyptologist Zahi Hawass
“Sparked by mankind’s odd, consumptive, promotional competition of building bigger and bigger megalithic statues of their god of choice, the divine universe has decided to take the fight of who is the dominant deity onto themselves. The supernatural world is tired of mankind’s silly bickering on who to worship and is settling things themselves! This is truly the end of the world as we know it!”
Boxing promoter Don King thought otherwise, however, massaging the notion of a giant Jesus fighting a giant Mohammed as “bigger than Norton vs. Ali, both literally, figuratively and money-green positively.”
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