Al Gore Disputes Claims he is Fictional
on 7/28/2009 (3)
Earlier today environmental crusader and former Vice President Al Gore made an impromptu appearance before the media to address claims by Conservatives that he is not real but rather a brilliantly orchestrated creation of forged photos, videos, and high-end holographic projections designed to further Liberal agendas by propagating a fear of impending global doom.
"Do you see me, standing before you with my magnificent Nobel Piece Prize," firmly spoke Gore as he coddled the box containing his most prized possession. "Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck don't have one of these... you know why? Because they're not real!"
Gore proceeded to spend the next half hour jumping up and down on the stage, picking objects up off the ground, and loudly yelling "If I wasn't real, could I do this!?!"
While few Democrats doubt these claims, the recent proclamation hasn't done much to sway the opinion on the other side.
"Al Gore is not real, and never has been," argues one such nonbeliever (who may or may not write for this very website). "Al is a teetering, rickety assemblage of twine, maple stems, hay, bird spittle and sticky black asphalt. At best, Al is a mere one-week-only artistic display at the Hoboken vanity fair, and nothing more."
"You can clearly see in this photograph that the shadow on Al Gore's left cheek does not match with the shadows on the other people," said photo analyst Barry Harold, pointing to a 1997 photograph of Gore and other high ranking Clinton brass inside the Oval Office. "In this other photograph taken on the Whitehouse lawn, Gore's hair is blowing slightly to the northwest while all other hair blows southeast. Clearly these photographs are fakes... just like Gore."
Claims that Gore is not real stem from a belief by many in the Republican Party that Global Warming, Al Gore's most prominent cause, is not real. Many who do not believe in Global Warming unbelieve so strongly that they also conclude that the man most vocal about it could not possibly be real.
While there is no hard evidence at this time that conclusively proves Al Gore is fake, the surprising lack of any evidence indicating that he is real or anyone that has personally met Gore is also hard to ignore.
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