Male Stripper Kills 7 Women at Local Nursing Home
on 5/22/2009 (0)
|That's the Bee's Knees, Hon! |
JIGLEE, LA - The Jiglee, Louisiana, senior extended care nursing facility reported 7 deaths blamed on a male stripper dressed as a cop late Friday. Jiglee Sheriff Johnny Beaufort describes:
"Well, the first time you may have seen this story on the news you might have thought it was a murder case, but it ain't"
Beaufort kicked his feet on his desk, brushed his bushy mustache and chortled heartily
"Fact is, some well meaning, but ill advised, administrator down there decided to spice up the lives, or what was left of them, of some of the old gals on board, so they brought in a male stripper for afternoon activities, you might say, and the results were a little less, or a lot more, depending how you look at it, than desired. Seems seven of the poor old ladies keeled over amid yippies and yahooies before their morning Cardizem pills could kick in. Hearts burstin' like soda cans in the sun on a hot summer day over there. Very sad, and totally avoidable."
Nursing home administrator Edna Whipple declined comment, but most families of the deceased declined to pursue charges or damages, citing, "You can't take it with you, and if you could, I'm sure mom would have anyway."
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