Smooth Operator - Florida Braces for 18 Degree Storm of the Century

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Florida Braces for 18 Degree Storm of the Century

by Kris on 2/4/2009 (0)

Ted Williams, eat your heart out!

The Florida Weather Service has declared a state of emergency and has warned residents to stay indoors as the state prepares for an artic chill that could drive temperatures as low as 18 degrees for as many as two hours.

Forecasters speculate that temperatures that low can turn the average Florida man or woman completely to ice in a matter of minutes. Nearly all plant and animal life will be killed. Disney World and Universal Studios Theme Park will close early.

"Florida residents are not like you or me," said Midwest weather personality Harry Zook. "They're used to 80 to 90 degree days, 365 days a year. To them, it's like it was negative 1,000 degrees."

Thousands of Floridians have already evacuated the area for Mexico and South America and several hundred Cuban refugees have actually begun floating on rafts back to Cuba where the weather is expected to stay a cool but livable 50 degrees.

For those that cannot leave, hundreds of trucks have been entering the state daily filled with hot chocolate and warm soup. Hats, mittens, and jackets are being distributed at many Red Cross locations. Advanced survival techniques such as wearing pants instead of shorts and avoiding licking metal objects are being taught to residents in hopes of saving lives, despite how grim that possibility appears.

Governor Charlie Crist is already calling the impending storm, "the biggest natural disaster in modern history" and has speculated that it could leave all of Florida looking like a frozen version of Pompeii.

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