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Obama Promises Free Puppy as Part of Stimulus Package
by Kris on 1/14/2009 (1) 
With the economy in the crapper and inauguration day just around the corner, President-Elect Barrack Obama has been hard at work developing a plan to get America back on it's feet, dubbed the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Plan". Part of that plan will involve free puppies for American taxpayers.
"Words cannot describe the joy our search for a new puppy has brought to my daughters and my wife," Obama told reporters at an impromptu press conference earlier today. At Obama's election night victory speech, he promised his daughters a new puppy and has been diligently searching for the perfect puppy since.
"I want to see that same joy on each and every American's face as they search, and ultimately purchase, their own new puppy," continued Obama.
Under Obama's new plan, Americans will be able to add the price of a new dog, the initial shots for the dog, and up to $100 in pet supplies as a credit on their 2009 tax returns. There are no restrictions on what breed of puppy can be purchased but Obama has advised "the cuter, the better".
The new puppies will raise national moral, which is at an all time low, and spur consumer spending. The additional money spent on pet food and other supplies will also help an ailing pet industry that is rapidly in danger of seeking their own government bailout.
"I always see people at the park with puppies and they look so happy," said New Jersey school teacher Shelly Barnes. "Until this day, I never thought that those people could be me."
Political analysts have already labeled this move as brilliant and many believe that it could single-handedly solve the economic crisis, stop global warming, cure cancer, end childhood obesity, and lead America into a golden age the likes of which has never been seen before.
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