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What is The Functionating Click?
by Mark on 11/27/2008 (0)

So, just what is this Functionating Click?
A new and mysterious Pop phrase has hit the streets as of late, sweeping America, but what is it? What does it mean? What is the so-called "Functionating Click"? We interviewed several citizens hoping to find out, and were handed these compelling, if not rather inconclusive, theories:

Hans Krebs, Sociologist: "Well, the Functionating Click is actually a sublime mental defense response. When we see a stranger, we are on alert. But if we suddenly recognize them as friendly, they are no longer perceived to be dangerous, the Functionating Click occurs, and we enter a more submissive, relaxed mode. It clicks on and off just like a light switch. Yes, that's the Functionating Click.

Jerl Gorbash, college student, liberal activist: "Ahhh yes, THE notorious Functionating Click. This term applies to Xenophobia and racism in America. When I look at a minority person, or any person different than myself, I have been brainwashed by the Bush administration to see them as inferior outsiders and a danger to America. But what I can do...very few people can do this you "click off" these feelings of Xenophobia and dissonance because I am intelligent, sensitive and progressive enough to do so. Very few people can do this. Did I already say that? That is the Functionating Click, as I see it...if you can do it...I can, you know."

Daetwon Stubbs, Rapper: "Oh, yeah..yeah...Dat Functionating Click is dat' sound when I click my IPhone to get de' niggaz raps, or text my BFF baby gurls! ist' dat ticky clicky sound, click, click, click, get dem' ho' biches sounds, aoight!"

John Madden, NFL broadcaster: "Well, the Functionating Click is the sound the play by play telescreen makes when I'm drawing a line from Wallace Wright way over here to Brett Favre downtown over there, and then you kinda circle and make an X over there, and make a squiggly line right here, yeah, then you click, click...hey, who the Functionating Click took my Onion Gimlet, goddangit?!"

Jenna Jameson, porn star: "Hee-hee. Ohh, I get it! That's when a guy takes a Viagra and, boing! Click! Gosh, I love the Functionating Click!"

Osama Bin Laden, terrorist: What is this, this...Functionating Click? It is not in the Koran. Kill it. I do like this infidel of a click."

Boomhower, King of the Hill star: "Hey, I tell you what, that dang' ol' Functionating Click man, you jest go on the Internet there, point and click, I'm talking man, you got them naked chicks on there, man you go click, click-click-click, it's real easy man."h="0"<0" hei

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