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Man Takes Uneventful Drive Through Countryside
by Kris on 11/3/2008 (1) 
 | | A car almost as uneventful as this story. | | Wausau, WI - The weather was unusually nice for a fall afternoon and retired weather balloon salesman Ralph Shields decided to go for a cruise in his vintage 1997 Chevy Malibu, a car he often described as "not bad if you don't mind the broken cup holder".
"I just wanted a relaxing afternoon on the road, the kind of drive that no one would ever hear about," Ralph told Smooth Operator. And yet against all our better judgment, write we did.
Shields headed south down the highway then veered right onto an old farm road, twisting and turning through fields of what can only be described as wheat.
Ralph saw a plane but it did not crash. Ralph saw a truck hauling a tank full of gas but it did not explode. Ralph saw some menacing looking teenagers but they just looked the other way. Ralph saw a house but it did nothing, as houses often do.
"Nothing interesting that anyone would ever want to hear about happened," said Ralph of his trip. "It was very peaceful, unlike the decade I spent as a prisoner of war, which would make for a much more interesting story."
When Ralph got home, he took off his shoes, grabbed a blanket, and fell asleep in his reclining chair for several hours. This was also something that no one would ever want to hear about.is
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