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Worlds Fattest Man Mystery Shocker: How in Hell Does This Guy Take a Crap?!
by Mark on 10/31/2008 (4)

Holy whopping crappers, Batman!
Mexico City - Mexican Manuel Uribe, the world's fattest man in the 2007 Guinness Book of Records, has married his friend's widow in a televised ceremony the US Discovery Channel dubbed "My Big Fat Mexican Wedding". Not-so-subtle questions abound, however, as to how the 1230 lb. Uribe manages his basic bodily functions and myriad theories have arisen in keen response.

“I think they cut a huge hole under his ass in the bed.” Piously pondered Flushing Meadows, NY, resident, Burt Dupa “Then they got this huge bucket under the bed. Kinda like a slop trough. Then he’s got a rag on a stick to wipe up, well…whatever he possibly can get at, I suppose…which probably ain’t nearly enough...must smell like a shitter hole in that poor feller's house, no doubt...yeah, that’s the way they do it, yup.”

Bowling Green, OH, massage therapist Jeanne Kadukis disagreed

“I bet they have a huge greased bedpan they slide under him, for sure. It must take, like, three people to do it. Two people lift his massive butt folds up for a few seconds, and then, zing! The third slides the pan in. Pure teamwork!”

No word is out how Uribe actually does muster his bowel management issues, but other questions have arisen regarding nuptials and his newlywed, thinnish bride, but Uribe promised that was “another sickening tale for another sleazy and sordid time.” src="h

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1. by Kris on 11/1/2008 11:01:36 PM
This guy actually lost a lot of weight since meeting his current wife and presumably is no longer bed ridden... How he shit though is still a valid question for when he was. There must be some kind of bucket under there... and he'd need someone to help change it. That's a job I'd never want to have.t </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Motz on 11/1/2008 11:32:17 PM
Yeah, nasty stuff. It's hard to feel for the fat man, though. I mean, this guy must be consuming 10K+ calories a day just to maintain that weight. You really need to have some kind of support structure, too. Who buys and brings him his food? He can't work or go to get a wheelbarrow full of burritos on his own. </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
3. by Kris on 11/2/2008 1:25:24 AM
Yeah, I have no idea... once you end up bed ridden, there has to be someone helping you out. I'd think that if you did reach the point where you couldn't leave bed, you would see yourself that something is wrong. On the bright side, I checked wikipedia and he's now down to a more modest 570 pounds... still overweight, but a lot better than before." </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
4. by Motz on 11/2/2008 2:16:29 PM
Well, I guess 1/4 ton is better than 1/2 a ton. Honestly, though. It seems like it would be easy to put him on a diet. Just stop bringing him trash bags full of food. It's just like putting a dog on a diet. How do dogs get fat? They can't go in the cupboard and get a can of Alpo. The owner does. Oh, and send this to fark, I'm still banned. Thanks!" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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