Smooth Operator - Maine Residents Disappointed By Lack of Killer Storm

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Maine Residents Disappointed By Lack of Killer Storm

by Kris on 9/29/2008 (0)

Just bring it...

Maine, USA - Hurricane Kyle threatened to blow the figurative doors off of the tiny coastal state of Maine, leaving a path of death and destruction never before seen in the state. Instead Kyle struck but a glancing blow before retreating to the mainland of Canada, presumably in search of free healthcare and cheap prescription drugs.

"What a little bitch," said Michael Hinerman, director of the Washington County Emergency Management Agency. "This was supposed to be badass, storm of the century, biblical shit. Instead we got some heavy rain. Obviously we're all very disappointed."

In the first hurricane to make landfall there in 17 years, Maine residents had been promised 300 mph winds and 100 foot waves crashing down, ultimately leading to the complete destruction of their state. Reconstruction would take years, if not decades.

Per capita, Maine residents live the most boring lives of any state in the United States. Such massive destruction that Hurricane Kyle teased would liven up an otherwise drab lifestyle and could even potentially make the state more exciting than exotic locals such as New Hampshire, West Virginia, and Maine's mortal nemesis, South Dakotaone">

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