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Scientists to Use Satellite Photos to Count the Number of People Wearing Red Shirts
by Kris on 9/18/2008 (0) 
 | | "20,121, 20,122, 20,123, 20,124... shit, I lost count again." | | Fresno, California - Scientists plan to use satellite photos taken from space to count the number of people wearing red shirts, providing the first-ever accurate count of people wearing red shirts.
"We've tried before to count the number of people wearing red shirts but it's really, really hard," said John Butternut, scientist with the Fresno Fashion Conservancy. "By using satellite images, we will be able to get a static image of everyone in the world and count them all Where's Waldo like."
The are currently over 6.7 billion people in the world. Until now, it has been impossible to get an accurate count of just how many of these people are wearing red shirts at any given time.
"It could be millions, it could be billions, it could even be trillions... we just don't know," admits Butternut.
The satellite technology replaces the tedious and highly inaccurate process of door to door shirt color checks.
"I've spent the last ten years going door to door checking what color shirts people are wearing," said Tony Marin, professional shirt color checker. "It takes years to visit all 6.7 billion people, and by the time you do, they've changed shirts five or six times and you have to start over."
The count of people wearing red shirts will be used to solve numerous worldwide problems like wars, starvation, abusive child labor practices, and global warming.
"The world is a terrible, awful, horrible place," said Martin Bean, a doctoral student with the Department of Bean Counting at the University of California, Berkeley. "Hopefully now that we know how many people are wearing red shirts, we can start cleaning it up." h="0" h0" hei
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