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Dead fish - Are they really dead?
by Odogondo on 4/1/2003 (1)

It may look dead now, but just wait... oh yes my friend, it's not dead.
In a lab not too far out of Mexico, a group of albino scientists who name themselves "The Gorg" have been performing a sequence of experiments to discover more about the nature of deceased fish. From all over the world, these people have joined up through different ways all to come and rejoice in their undeniable fascination for dead things. They have been experimenting and recording information on this for the past six years. Our reporters were able to get a snapshot of their discoveries.

"It is a long and tedious task." commented lead scientist Mr. Googoo Balshamar when asked about their work. "We worked hard all year long to find out more about the floating and sinking of dead fishes' bodies."

The laboratory is situated in the basement a 2-storey house where a family of 6 live. When we asked them for an interview, they refused for privacy matters, so our reporters went and asked their neighbors for more on the story.

"They all like to drive their cars into them trash cans there..." one mentioned, who was the old man that lived alone in the house next door. "They also gots them a nice troupe of llamas. You ever see their llamas?" The man went onto irreverent babbling about the llamas biting his dog's ear off and bringing it back to the family. Unfortunately, we weren't able to see any of the llamas that were so talked about. When we asked other neighbors, they had no idea what we were talking about.

Back to the scientists...

"We bought a few hundred salmon with money we got from collecting cans, put them all in a giant tank and waited until they died. Then, we did our recording." explained Penelope, Googoo's sister and director of the experiments.

In their lab, there were piles and piles of written data, each pertaining to individual salmon and their behavior. The many tanks were filled with water and many, many dead salmon laying at the bottom.

Just when you think they're dead, they turn into a 50 foot monster that levels Tokyo.
"We don't want to take them out just yet," said Googoo, "you never know when after a few years the dead bodies will come alive, sprout some legs and become the next Godzilla!" he laughed, seeming content with his beliefs. Unfortunately not many of the other scientists seemed to follow him on that idea.

Some fish were just recently dying, some were decaying and most were just bones. We wondered why he didn't clean the bones out, but we didn't bother asking.

The youngest of the albino scientists, who was a 9-year-old part-time trapeze artist, wished to conclude their experiments.

"I can't believe he still wants to keep the fish there. They're DEAD! They won't grow legs! Such matter wont ever see the wonders of life through their beautiful fish eyes again! HE IS TORTURING THEIR SOULS!" he yelled, clenching onto a rosary and seemingly saying a few prayers between each other word. We tried to avoid him for the rest of the day.

We were not able to speak to everyone, for there were about seventeen scientists, including a pet circus monkey named Hooha who worked as the monitor. They sa

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1. by omistebis on 3/1/2007 4:52:29 PM
*prods her dead goldfish in their tank with a stick* Yes!! Yes!! World domination, here I come!! ;) Great article, man!!isplay:n </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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