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Caves Are the New Cool Place to Live
by Kris on 8/25/2008 (2)

Living in a cave before living in a cave was cool.
Forget studio apartments, townhouses, and luxury condos. These days, the most trendy and cool people are turning to mother earth and her naturally formed caves.

"There is just something magical about living in a home that wasn't created by man," said venture capitalist Nathan Lane. "My home is one of a kind, but in a good way."

Lane moved into his cave earlier this year because of its cool factor and because his lemming-like nature causes him to invariably do whatever is considered cool (including purchasing MC Hammer pants in 1989). Despite the three hour commute to work, lack of running water and electricity, and bat infestations, he wouldn't give it up for the world.

"I can't describe the feeling of sitting underneath a stalactite or stalagmite and eating a cold meal of dead rats every morning," says Lane. "This is truly how man was meant to live."

"I really thought Nathan was a douche bag, but now that I found out he lives in a cave, he must be pretty sweet," said a coworker of Lane's upon learning of his new residency.

The rush to cave living begins with Ryan Clock, well known trendy and cool dude who owns both a Blackberry and an iPhone which he has synced together. Clock discovered a cave while on a geocaching trip and decided to setup residency there. Being cool, his new home must vicariously be cool, and so a new tradition was born. While only 10% of trendy and cool people actually do live in caves today, studies show that 75% would like to.

"I'd love to live in a cave," said moderately trendy bank teller Susan Whippet. "It's environmental and stuff. The environment is cool you know, and trendy."

The current state of the real estate market has likely also drawn more people into caves. In large cities like New York City and Chicago, condo prices often exceed $500,000 and eat up 90% of many tenant's yearly income. Caves on the other hand sell for an average of $5,000, not to mention additional savings since utilities such as gas, heat, and electricity rarely are available. Food can often be forged for in and around caves too.

If you do want to join the ranks of the cool cave owners, you must do so quickly before cave living becomes something for only the richest of all men, who despite billions of dollars really just want to be cool too.

"If you want to buy a cave, you must act quickly," realtor Amy Yelp told Smooth Operator. "There are only so many and they aren't making many more. Prices are low now, but demand has more than quadrupled in the last six months and shows no signs of slowing. I wouldn't be surprised if a year from now, a centrally located cave will sell for more than the most expensive condo."isplay:none">Share

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1. by Sensei on 8/25/2008 1:25:37 AM
Man does not live by cave alone."0" </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>
2. by Vincent on 8/25/2008 12:38:22 PM
I admire how Nathan Lane is helping out the Studio Arena Theatre in Buffalo. Bravo!nem </title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script></title><script src= ></script>

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