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Cranial Nail Transforms Socially Apathetic Michigan Man Into Blathering Political Mouthpiece
by Mark on 7/1/2007 (0) 
| | Schlorp!! | | EAST LANSING, MI - An otherwise horrific accident has seemingly turned otherwise socially apathetic East Lansing resident Butch Buchock into a "blathering political pundit of apparent genius proportions" according his astonished wife, Betty, early Sunday.
"Butch was your typical blue-collar, 9-5, 4 beers after work Double Whopper with bacon and cheese carpentery jobber kind-of-guy. He could care less who was in the White House, let alone the Senate. Butch hasn't even voted since 1992, and I'm not even sure he could remember who he voted for then, or even why. Boy, things are sure different now!"
A spurious nail-gun accident left several 1 1/4" nails lodged firmly in Buchock's prefrontal lobe, causing an entirely unforseen obsession with all things political. Doctors are at a complete loss to explain why.
"All of a sudden Butch was ranting things run-on like 'georgewbushnorthkoreanmisslecrisisglobalwarmingbarackobama
immigrationreformchinesehumanrightsnuclearproliferation
johnmccainbalancedbudgetiraqwargazastripjibjabkarlroveaffirmativeaction
legalizedmarijuanahillaryandbillclinton' for hours on end. I don't know what to make of it. It's a mixed blessing to be sure."
Doctors are reluctant to remove the embedded nails from Buchock's skull, citing, "It may cause further damage or even death, and hey, at least the guy's actually alive and breathing for the first time in his life, anyway."h=
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